Arguing the case for lawyer-baiting fun

There are reports from California that lawyers there are seeking to have some of the more mordant jokes made at their expense restricted because they allegedly incite hatred.

Judging from a collection of remarks made by lawyers in Massachusetts courts, there is no need for anyone to make up lawyer jokes since the profession is adept at making an ass of itself.

Tom Chapman at Emphasis sent over a collection of quotes taken from the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers' Journal which were actually asked in court. Our favourite is this exchange between a lawyer and a doctor.

Q: 'Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?' A: 'No.' Q: 'Did you check for blood pressure?' A: 'No.' Q: So then, is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?' A: 'No.' Q: 'How can you be so sure Doctor?' A: 'Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.' Q: 'But could the patient have been alive nevertheless?' A: 'It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.' Then there was the witness who was chided by a lawyer for nodding or shaking his head when answering questions.

Q: 'All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?' A: 'Oral.' Microsoft's Bill Gates is also on the receiving end of some barbed humour.

Q: How many Bill Gates' would it take to change a light bulb? A: None. He calls a meeting and makes darkness the standard.