MET Sir Alan Walters in Hongkong yesterday. This is the chap who was involved in pitched battles with the UK Chancellor in the days when 10 Downing Street was manned - we used the word advisedly - by Margaret Thatcher. We asked him how his relationships were with Nigel Lawson and Norman Lamont. ''Distant,'' was all he said, and all he needed to say. Sir Alan turned out to be a charming but extremely garrulous gentleman, who has no fears whatsoever on giving opinions about things with which he is unfamiliar. A reporter asked him how his speech in Guangzhou had gone. ''Where?'' said the economist, looking baffled. ''Guangzhou,'' said the reporter. ''Is that how you say it? Well well. I learn something new every day. It's very important for China to open up to ideas, as well as to goods and services,'' he said. ''I was trying to give people ideas in - how do you say it? Guangzhou?'' Sir Alan commented later that he had spoken earlier about inflation to ''someone from the Saturday Evening Post''. His minder tapped him on the shoulder. ''I think that was the South China Morning Post, Sir Alan,'' he said. Sir Alan has a real talent for macro-economics. Falling values MANY readers, including Terry Gleeson of Ramset Fastening Systems, Kowloon, noticed that Treasure Island, the property dealer, is offering a 2,200 sq ft flat for $33,000 in a building called ''Skycrapper''. There are two possibilities. 1. It is a misprint for ''Skyscraper'', a building with a dumb name in the North Point area. 2. That wicked chap in Taikoo Shing who used to wreak revenge on society from his window has put his flat on the market. Icing on the cake IT'S tough being a pop star. That was the message on Li Ka-shing's face when we nipped into his office in Pedder Street yesterday. The poor chap was surrounded by squealing news-hounds, pointing notebooks and cameras in his face. The Cheung Kong tycoon demanded the television cameramen leave. Mr Li explained that he was being over-exposed. ''If a star is on show every day, I don't think anyone would watch him,'' he said. But the atmosphere soon became very genial. An underling arrived with some trays of cream cakes for the press. Chocolate cups filled with cream and topped with strawberries - yes, the unmistakable products of the Hilton Hotel's cake shop. Sometimes, owning your own high-class hotel can be very useful. Over-informed HONGKONG Bank treasurer Albert Hoyle commented recently that the world was a place ''where market information - both relevant and redundant - is in massive oversupply''. David Brocklehurst, boss of Reuters in East Asia, reckoned that his firm was probably the major guilty party. He was prompted to add up just how much information was being pumped out through Reuters' terminals. He found that if you stuck it into paperback form, you would get three fat novels every day, a total of about 300,000 words. ''I know the treasury manager at Hongkong Bank is a master at his art, but I also know that Albert can't read that fast,'' said David yesterday. Ping song IT was fascinating to read through all the attacks by China yesterday. Even in Beijing's version of the talks breakdown, it remains clear that it was their insistence that Hongkong people be banned from the negotiating table that really caused the fall-out. The wicked Chris Patten ''created new obstacles'' by perfidiously refusing to hurdle new obstacles created by Beijing. The attempt to turn the dispute into a personal campaign smearing Hongkong's Governor inspired Barry Kalb, boss of the Il Mercato restaurant chain, to turn to verse. Lu Ping told Li Peng '''Tis Fei Pang Who heads Hongkong's human rights gang.'' ''I propose, Ping,'' said Peng, ''To pressure Ah-Deng To prang the Hang Seng, and blame Pang.'' Under Strine THE report about Ron's dad reminded Philip Yates of OTC Australia's Hongkong office of a wartime story. An Australian general was giving a rousing victory pep talk to the troops during the first world war. Towards the end, wanting to finish on a high note, he asked: ''After all, did you come here to die?'' The soldiers called out: ''No, we came 'ere yesterdie.''