My, how the mighty have fallen. A Backbites spy in London's trendy Barnes area spied former Governor-turned-author Chris Patten in his new neighbourhood recently. Not only has Mr Patten had to swap his palatial Upper Albert Road pad for a modest terrace - but it seems he has taken to rather more pedestrian or even peasantry means of transport. Forget about the gubernatorial Daimler - it's the local bus for him these days. Atrocious telly What's in a name? Not a lot according to ATV, which does not seem to be able to tell the difference between CA Pacific - a finance house now in liquidation - and Cathay Pacific, which also takes your money but gives you a plane trip in return and which certainly is not crashing. A recent item on ATV's main 7.30 pm news gave ample coverage to the problems at CA Pacific, all the time with Cathay's logo behind the presenter's head. Hope no one at Atrocious Television wants an upgrade. Mug's game Mugs - the coffee and tea variety - come in many shapes and sizes. And so, it seems, do human ones. Combine the two and you have a big problem, or rather someone who should know better has a problem. A recent visitor to Hong Kong - and let's face it that's a bit of a bonus in itself - left these shores a mite tongue-twisted. The reason? Minus a map of the outlying islands, she turned to a coffee mug given to her by a harbour pleasure cruise. Her eye settled on Lantau, site of the Po Lin Monastery, then shifted to the right as she checked out the ferry landing point. Of course, it should have been Silvermine Bay, but the Mui Wo ferry pier had taken on a new mantle and become Slivermine Bay. A simple mistake anyone could make. But surely not Jardine Pacific, whose crest is displayed proudly just a coffee drip away. Fight for food Backbites went to the movies after doing the shopping the other day only to chance upon someone taking their job a bit too seriously. Supermarket bag in tow, we bought a ticket only to be refused entry to the cinema by an over-zealous usher pointing at the sign 'No outside food or drinks allowed'. The contents of the bag, which included teabags and soap, were obviously deemed tasty alternatives to the popcorn. Each item was unpacked for inspection before we were allowed in. Mystic morass Men's ranking in the average life of a Hong Kong woman has taken another beating this week. Interesting goings-on at the New Age shop have seen visiting psychics reading the past and future for Hong Kongers concerned about the economic downturn. Women are usually worried about relationship and emotional problems. This time, forget about affairs of the heart. A remarkable number of local women are concerned for their - and that of their nearest and perhaps not for much longer dearest's - financial future. Labels for less Hong Kong Tourist Authority impresario Peter Randall has been doing some market research in his capacity as public relations chief, it seems. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Hong Kong is still, he insists, a bargain shopping destination. Speaking on RTHK, old Randers said he delved into those Mongkok backstreets and pulled out a pair of jeans for $50 and two 'label' shirts for $40. Quite which 'labels' we are talking about is uncertain. One thing for sure, though, is that on Randall's salary he can afford the real thing. Airport angst A hack returning recently from the Philippines on Cathay Pacific was following the route on a monitor. To his surprise he learned his destination - conveniently marked on Lantau with a white circle - was not Kai Tak, but Chek Lap Kok. It seems someone had misinformed Cathay's programme equipment that the airport's opening date had been brought forward instead of put back by two months.