A sexologist yesterday advised women to grasp Valentine's Day as an opportunity to advise their partners if they conformed to the Hong Kong stereotype of the lacklustre lover. Andrea Ng Wing-ying, who co-hosts a radio sex show with her husband Dr Ying Kit, was speaking at a luncheon with her husband and Hong Kong University sexologist Dr Ng Man-lun. Ms Ng, who runs a sex therapy practice, said over the years she had dealt with hundreds of women who thought there was something wrong with them because intercourse produced an overwhelming feeling of . . . nothing. A recent global sex survey claimed, on average, intercourse lasted a disappointing 12.3 minutes in the SAR. 'People have traditionally thought sex is only the man's pleasure and the woman's duty,' Ms Ng said. 'That has only started to change in the last decade.' There was no better time than February 14 for women to gently break the news to a partner that the Earth did not move for them. 'Say, 'I scream, I gasp but I'm not having an orgasm, so would you be so kind as to go and see a sex therapist with me?'.' And Valentine's Day is not all chocolates and roses, Dr Ying said. 'I'm not a romantic man,' he said. 'I tend to defend the Chinese concept of love, that if love exists, there's no need for constant reminders - especially when it involves a lot of trouble and expense.' He even told one anxious bachelor not to put too much thought into whether sex exists after marriage.