JOHNNY ''Olivier'' Wong, the actor-conman, is on the loose again. He has been duping Hongkong companies again, and readers are warned to look out for him. He sometimes calls himself Johnny Wong, but has been nicknamed Olivier because of his superb acting ability. We first reported on him about two years ago. Johnny went to the offices of an international vehicle maker in Wan Chai on Monday. There he had a long chat with Chris Fairhurst about buying a bus, saying he worked for Krupps International (he doesn't). Chris told Johnny that he would send a fax to Lyndon Rees at Citybus, who might be able to sell him a bus. Johnny left. Then he returned and explained with embarrassment that his driver had driven off with his briefcase, leaving him with no money. Soft-hearted Chris lent him $300. Yesterday, Johnny Wong turned up at the offices of Citybus, where he spoke to managing director Lyndon Rees. The conman made careful enquiries to see if Lyndon had had a chat with Chris in the previous 24 hours. Mr Rees said he had not. Then the trickster tried exactly the same trick on him. ''Oh dear. The driver's gone off with my briefcase,'' he said. Lyndon instinctively felt something was wrong, and managed to eject him without parting with any cash. Chris reckons ''Olivier'' badly needs financial advice. Doing all that homework, travel, acting, and risk-taking, over two working days, just to earn $300, makes no sense. He could earn more begging on the Jardine House walkway (and probably does). Out of touch BILL Wintrip of Can Ltd, a civil engineering firm in Lippo Centre specialising in difficult access jobs, had a problem with his mobile phone. He took it into CSL's highly efficient Mobile Customer Care Centre in Wan Chai for a quick repair on Monday. The helpful girl at the reception told him to leave it with them and the repair would take about four hours. ''What time should I come back for it?'' asked Bill. ''No problem, sir, I will phone you when it's ready,'' she said. ''But . . .'' Soul music CHRIS Kaufman, morning producer at Metro Broadcast, got a call on Saturday morning from a concerned-sounding woman. ''Are you anything to do with the concert tonight?'' she asked. ''I want to make sure I get a good view from my seat.'' She began to explain how she had queued all day to make sure she got a good view. Chris interrupted her to ask which concert she was talking about. ''Do you mean the Elton John show?'' he asked. ''No,'' she said. ''The John Lennon concert.'' He told her that John Lennon was not appearing in Hongkong that night, but perhaps she really meant Elton John, who was. ''No. It's John Lennon,'' she replied adamantly. No doubt she told her friends the following morning that Mr Lennon had been unusually animated for someone who has been dead for 13 years. Liquid option FREE BOOZE! That got you reading, didn't it? Nigel Rivers, a restaurant specialist based in Clearwater Bay, came up with a scheme that may work for Hongkong eateries beset by red tape from the licensing authorities. He recalls having worked with hostelries in the UK where they got over similar problems by being generous. ''The laws always specify selling alcohol,'' said Nigel. ''Giving it away is a different matter.'' This would keep the customers happy, which, at times like this, is more important than keeping the accountant happy. Possible refinements: put a little sign on the bar saying ''Peanut: only $28. (Every peanut ordered comes with a free beer.)'' Bad Times EVEN the most famous newspapers in the world sometimes slip up. Hongkong pundit Professor Peter Harris, of Political Briefings Ltd, picked up the March 15 copy of The Times of London to find this in the currency column. note ''On this scenario, the banks have finally given up,'' he said. Bridge too far CARLSBERG'S new advertising series has come to this region. This series features dramatic landscapes from around the world, and in each picture you can spot a Carlsberg delivery truck. The latest one, now appearing in several glossy magazines, including Time, shows the truck on the curved bridge of Macau. Copies were sent to us by several readers, including Arvind Nangia of Standard Chartered Equitor Group. ''Carlsberg on Macau-Taipa Bridge, Hongkong,'' says the caption. ''Probably the best beer in the world.'' The Taipa Bridge is not in Hongkong. We would just like to add one comment: Carlsberg. Probably not the best geography in the world. Pigs 'ere YUPPIE farmer Dave Rousellow of Waterloo, Iowa, got home, switched on his answering machine, and heard lots of weird non-human grunting. The call turned out to be from a group of pigs. Mr Rousellow had been keeping his mobile phone in the top pocket of his overalls while working away from the farm house, but lost it. Some pigs found it and called him by pressing the last number redial button (the farmer had called home that morning). When he got home he played his messages and heard a range of bizarre ''snorts, squealing and grunting''. We know the feeling.