There is an element of comfort to know that whether Hong Kong is ruled by London or Beijing, that some things always stay the same. We were reminded of this after speaking to Dean Chisholm of LGT who was still recovering from the rigours of the charity Black Friday Boxing Smoker at the Conrad Hotel at the start of the weekend. The combination of boxing, fine wines, cigars and long-legged women in short skirts brought out the best, or the worst depending on your point of view, among a baying crowd of black-tie wearing bucks out to have a seriously good time. Highlight of the evening was Sotheby's auctioneer Claudia Slorian, whose tall and lean figure encased in a flattering two-piece business suit had the brokers and fund managers in a state of near-apoplexy every time she got in and out of the ring. 'When she arrived for the rehearsal before the dinner started we had to practice her entrance and exit through the ropes for 15 minutes. She was wearing a mini-skirt and we didn't want her to reveal anything,' Dean said. Such modesty did not extend to the team of kilt-wearing Scots who showed exactly what bona fide Caledonians wear under the sporrans after the crowd stumped up the necessary $5,000 for this adult version of show and tell. More than $120,000 was raised during the evening for a variety of children's charities in Hong Kong and the mainland, with some $70,000 coming from the gavel of Ms Slorian during the auction. Oh, and by the way, there was some boxing too. Although the PLA garrison declined an invitation to take part, a group of fighters from Zhuhai seemed to be determined to knock seven bells out of their colleagues from the Hong Kong Boxing Association - a far cry from some of the limp encounters witnessed in the past according to Dean. Many thanks to Chris Donnolley for sending through this explanation of that age-old conundrum - why did the chicken cross the road - as explained by a consultant from Arthur Andersen. 'Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. 'Andersen Consulting, in a partnership relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. 'Using the Poultry Integration Method (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken to use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experience to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Programme Management network. 'Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and the best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. 'The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an environment which was strategically based, industry focused and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned towards the chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. 'Arthur Andersen helped the chicken to change to become more successful.' Still on the subject of chickens, scientist at NASA have apparently developed a gun whose purpose is to launch dead ones. Not to keep Arthur Andersen consultants in gainful employment, but to test their impact of the windscreens of airliners, military jets and space shuttles at maximum speed. British engineers tried out the gun on high-speed trains. To their horror, the bird shattered the windscreen, smashed the control console, smashed the engineer's back rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. NASA's response to the Brits? 'Thaw the chicken.' For years, Lai See zealously reported some of the more eclectic names Asian adopted from the West, like Adolph Hitler Wong, Lightning Chan and Koala Lui. Now it gives us great pleasure to bring you a clutch of gweilo monikers that we hope will redress the balance a few milligrams. Like the chief executive officer for north Asia of Union Des Assurances, Claude Marx. Then there is Mr John Thomas of Kyoto, whose parents either had a cruel sense of humour or none at all. Pride of place in any business-card box would be that of the vice-president of Scudder Stevens & Clark of Park Avenue, New York - Roger K. Hardon - surely a bona fide Big Swinging Richard.