When Delys Sargeant reached 65 and retired from her job five years ago, the dramatic differences in her life and routine were accompanied by another, more frightening, change: loss of memory.
Yet as she began forgetting more and more, secretly terrified this might signal the beginning of serious loss or one of the dementias, like Alzheimer's disease, she discovered what was happening to her was a taboo subject.
Friends and colleagues in Australia did not want to talk about her problem, and did not want to acknowledge that a woman as active and self-confident as Ms Sargeant could be losing her memory, a disability associated with old age.
'People don't want to be linked in any way with being 'over the hill',' said Ms Sargeant, a psychologist. 'I also very strongly feel that memory is identity. Challenging memory is seen as challenging integrity and self-identity.' In early 1994 Ms Sargeant decided to seek help. She was referred to the Memory Clinic at the North-West Hospital in Melbourne, where she was tested by Anne Unkenstein, a neuropsychologist specialising in memory loss.
It was one of those meetings that change lives. It led to not only reassurances that Ms Sargeant did not have Alzheimer's (a disease in which the brain deteriorates and fails in old age), but also a deep friendship and collaboration on a book to help others who are losing their memories - or think they are.
Remembering Well (Allen and Unwin) is a good news book. It not only explains how memory works and why some people have problems with their memories, but also offers tips on managing the memory changes that can accompany ageing, stress, tiredness, chronic pain, grief, a hearing impairment, medication and even changes in routine.
