She is big, she is bold and she is cuddly. More importantly, she is imaginary and has Hong Kong's power men and spineless women on the run. We are talking about Ruby - the naked, amply proportioned doll that Body Shop bosses wanted to place as an advert in MTR stations. The message to women - and men - was simple. Most women do not look like supermodels, nor should they have to. Of course, the MTR banned smiling Ruby, deeming her obscene. Obviously, its executives get enough exposure to images like Ruby's when they look in the full-length bathroom mirror each morning. But now, the boss of the very organisation which is supposed to offer opinions on such 'obscenity' issues is diving for cover. Asked for his opinion on the Ruby controversy, the Television Entertainment and Licensing Authority assistant commissioner, Gary Yeung, said: 'No comment'. What next? A ban on overweight MTR passengers? Loony Lamma Regulars of the Lamma ferry nearly fell off their dirty seats during a late-night ride last week. Used to the filthy conditions on many of the route's rusty wrecks operated by the Hongkong and Yaumati ferry company, the boat had barely left Central when a member of staff appeared with a rag. Wondering whether it had sprung a leak and this was a desperate attempt to plug the hole, passengers were shocked to find the crewman whip out a bottle of glass cleaner and give the windows a wipe-over. When he appeared to lose interest a dirty seat caught his eye and mission revitalised, he checked the seating. Regulars wonder whether the recent visa-related exodus of many of Lamma's colourful characters - not regarded as paying overly rigorous attention to clean clothing or personal hygiene - may have something to do with the spring clean. Cynics just highlighted the day in question. It was Wednesday, April 1 - better known as April Fool's Day. Selling point It is good to see at least one clothing shop not trying to dazzle would-be patrons with false promises of huge price cuts. We have all been duped by the mammoth 'up to 70 per cent off' signs on store fronts at sale time. Once lured inside, victims discover a 30 per cent off sale, with a pair of old socks in one corner reduced by 70 per cent. Not so at 'Deko'z' clothes shop in Lan Kwai Fong, where staff are not afraid to admit their sale is nothing to get excited about. 'Just 20 per cent off,' their sign concedes. Bottle out Oh, the joys of being a diner in Hong Kong: mediocre service at exorbitant prices. However, one restaurant's actions recently resulted in a bizarre anecdote. A couple sat down for a meal at El Pomposo in trendy SoHo and biting the bullet, opted to pay $150 for their corkage to enjoy a decent bottle of wine they bought earlier. Halfway through their meal, they suddenly noticed their bottle had vanished - with a third of their expensive vintage still to go. They immediately complained to the waiting staff, who were embarrassed to admit they had thrown the bottle in the rubbish bin. Not to worry though - they promptly retreated to the kitchen, extracting the bottle from the bin. Still, at least, a bottle recovery charge has not been concocted - yet. Muzak mania It seems our District Court judges have muzak on their minds. One such judge was apparently unable to distinguish between hardened drug criminals and a decidedly softer teenybop pop idol. During a recent drugs case, the judge made reference to a previous and similar case to give guidelines on sentencing. Jaws plummeted and eyes were agog when he referred to the case of Lau Tak-wah - better known as pop schmoozer Andy Lau. After the court stifled its laughter, he swiftly corrected himself and cited the case of Lau Tak-ming.