HAD a chat with Danny Ledoux, boss of Pesticides Services Co, the Hongkong firm with the controversial slogan ''Killing is our business'', mentioned in this column last week. People sometimes react oddly to it - particularly if they see the van from behind, where they can see the slogan but not the name of the firm. Danny told us he once got a call from a woman in Hongkong who had not realised that his expertise in killing referred to pest control. ''She asked me if I could send someone to do 'a job' for her in the Philippines,'' said Danny. ''She wanted us to pay a visit to her husband.'' He assured her that alienated spouses were not the sort of pests he normally wiped out, whatever she wanted to pay. ''You can buy all sorts of things in Hongkong, but that's one service that is not openly advertised,'' he said. The company is expanding in a big way in China, and is using the same slogan (in English and Chinese) over the fence. Meanwhile, the pest control expert is working on the ultimate trophy to celebrate his art: a solid gold cockroach. He plans to launch a contest soon to find the biggest cockroach in Hongkong. The winner will get the giant roach, fashioned entirely out of 24-carat gold, to display in his or her home. He is not planning to expand to the point where he is making solid gold errant husbands. Omnivorous DOROTHY Brown of the Omni group's Hongkong Hotel got a letter from a Mr Okunoye Sunday of Lagos, Nigeria. Mr Sunday writes: ''I want you to send me special gifts, sir, such as: T-shirt, soap, tie, clip-tie, pen, shampoo, body lotion, shower cap, hair conditioner, chocolate, toys, Dettol, tea, sugar, perfume, shaving blade, shoe polish, toothbrush and paste, matches, sticker, postcard, sewing kits, spoon, knife, fork, keyholder, balloon, belt and bath foam.'' We can only assume that Mr Sunday is planning to open his own hotel in Nigeria. There must be easier ways to acquire supplies. Jumped-up WHEN the China Jump pub in Causeway Bay opened, boss John Green emphasised that it would not have a strict dress policy. He told reporter Paul Lewis of Executive magazine in summer last year that he had once been refused entry to Joe Bananas for wearing a collarless shirt, and this had put him off dress codes. Mr Green is quoted in the magazine in July last year saying: ''Instead of putting great big gorillas at the door, we will have people who are slightly more amenable. Our dress code is not going to be ridiculous, like no T-shirts and only collared shirts.Door policies don't work. You don't want to be known for your door policy.'' This week, Mr Green's pub published a dress code. The management reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone . . Smart Dress Only (At Management's Discretion) No Sports Shoes No Work Boots Only Dress Jeans Allowed No Jean Jackets Dress Shorts Only Collarless Shirts May Not Be Allowed . . . No Motorcycle Helmets Permitted On Premises No Head Bands (Some Hats May Be Refused) No Singlets Or Sleeveless Vests Allowed. His thinking has clearly developed. Vital statistic BIG changes are afoot in the ambulance service in Hongkong. It is being divided into a service for emergencies and another for routine medical transport journeys. The number 999 is not changing, despite the argument that 111 would be faster to phone on old-fashioned telephones. At least we don't have 911 (pronounced nine-eleven), like the Americans. We heard an allegedly true story about a woman in a terrible condition who drove herself to hospital in the US city of Rochester, and collapsed in the foyer. ''Why didn't you phone 911?'' asked the nurse. ''I don't have an 11 on my phone,'' gasped the patient. Stiff levy MARSHALL Byres of Ernst and Young wrote to the UK Inland Revenue recently. He had a question for them for some Hongkong clients about ''terminal leave pay''. His received a reply saying: ''I shall be glad to investigate further,'' and signed: ''Ben Franklin was right!'' said Marshall. Lack of proof LURED by a colourful advertising poster, Nissen Davis went to the Hongkong Bank to buy a proof set of the new coinage. He was directed to the cash office in the basement, where the cashier kept trying to sell him a set of regular coins, not the numismatic kind that collectors want. He kept repeating ''proof'' to no avail. Finally he wrote the word on a piece of paper and held it to the window. Light dawned on the face of the teller. ''Wrong place,'' he said. ''You must take elevator to the roof.'' Dead line JOE Silk, financial services specialist, came up with this tale: Lu Ping's secretary gets a call from Chris Patten. ''I'm sorry,'' she says. ''You can't speak to him. Mr Lu's dead. He lost all his money in the stock market and jumped out of the window - splat.'' Ten minutes later, he calls again. ''I told you,'' she says. ''He's dead. He lost all his money, jumped out of the window - splat. It was horrible.'' Ten minutes later, he calls yet again. ''Look,'' she says. ''He's dead. He jumped out of the window - splat. Dead. Deceased. A goner. I've told you twice already.'' ''I know,'' says Mr Patten. ''I just like to hear you say it.''