Toeing a smelly line

We thought the MTR was a facility for transporting the public. Seems we were wrong. Some people consider it just the place to carry out practices more in keeping with those confined to the bathroom.

Far be it for us to be killjoys, but one passenger had us doing a double take. At 9am, he walked on to the train at Central, sat down and took off his shoes. Then he removed his socks.

The dirty toenails hardly made scintillating viewing matter. And the smelly feet left a lot to be desired. But it was when he took his nail clippers out, set to work on the offending nails, sending the clippings flying, that we felt truly nauseous.

Intriguingly, the four other people in the carriage did not bat an eyelid. Hullo? Lost in magic More on the man with those self-professed 'Heathcliff' good looks and 'great hair', that master of delusions David Copperfield.

At least one member of the audience at his recent Dreams And Nightmares show was highly traumatised, and not just by his appalling attempt at humour.

When Copperfield does his highly publicised finale of making people disappear, unfortunately his good self is not included. During one show, he made an entire row of the audience vanish. Instead of making them re-appear, they ended up in another room.

All very well - unless you happen to be five years old and daddy has just vanished in front of your eyes. Yes, the act was totally lost on the traumatised toddler bawling his eyes out in the row behind, orphaned by magic.