She ain't heavy, she's my daughter

I don't know, maybe I am nuts, but before meeting my buddy for a late-afternoon movie, I popped into Marks and Sparks, grabbed a very cool 1960s scarlet one-piece swimsuit and flounced into the changing room. Now I know why they call them changing rooms. I entered that cubicle a curvaceous and bubbly, albeit mature, Annette Funicello, twistin' in the sand, and I came out a Sylvia Plath beach ball, twisted and deflated.

'Now, that was a wrist-slitting experience,' I hissed as we settled into our seats. 'What sort of a head case tries on a bathing suit before going to see a comedy?' 'You do,' he said simply as the lights dimmed.

I'll admit that dashing into a dressing room with only one size, of one style of swimwear in one colour - 'Look-at-me-I'm-a-shiny-crimson-pear Red' - is a recipe for disaster. But you tell me when it's a 'good time' for a full-figured gal over 40 to pull a small piece of elasticated fabric over her trunk, leaving milky limbs and bits of sensible white knickers exposed? It's an Alabaster Disaster.

As I headed through that same mall over the weekend, my daughter ran into the Body Shop. Grace is big on funky nail varnish these days, and, following her in, a display caught my eye.

Feminine as the day is long, round as the moon is wide and naked as the day she was poured into a plastic mould was Ruby. Look out Barbie, there's a new doll in town. Luxurious auburn hair piled willy-nilly atop her full face, slight double chin, somewhat pendulous breasts, rounded belly, full hips and rather short legs, Ruby is one red-hot mama! 'Know your mind, love your body. There are three million women who don't look like super-models and only eight who do,' the poster informed. Next to the cash register a magazine, Full Voice, was available for a small donation to Hong Kong Single Parents' Association.

Before I tell you about the contents of Full Voice, I want to quote a few lines from a feature I tore out of a fashion magazine last month, entitled I Can't Get Through June Without Being Thin: 'I want to be known as Beanpole before the end of the summer.' 'Never mind giving an inch. I refuse to give men something to hold on to [apart from when they carry my bag].' 'Succumbing to raw hunger. I'll make sushi my staple diet: it's slimming, trendy and expensive - who could ask for more?' Now, a sampling of the features, mostly pictorial, in Full Voice: 'Self-esteem. What's it all about? Content.' 'Laughter is the best facelift.' 'Fashion - Should your body shrink to fit?' There isn't a diet or an exercise regime in sight because the magazine isn't about changing how you look, it's about celebrating who you are.