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What's in a name for the in-laws?

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ADDRESSING in-laws by 'Mama' and 'Baba' in Cantonese or 'Mum' and 'Dad' in English is supposed to level the relationship to one of familial comfort, giving everyone involved warm and fuzzy feelings inside.

But there is no denying a certain contrived element to this new, redefined relationship with a spouse's parents.

As a result, the awkwardness and the discomfort has forced many people of the younger generation not to call their in-laws anything, and never to address them directly. A common tactic is to wait for the in-law to speak first, leading to many strained silences.

Count me among them. I am not yet married, but my companion's parents have already tried to redefine our relationship and bring it to a more casual level. Previously, calling his parents by 'Mr' and 'Mrs' would do.

Now, when they call long-distance, they introduce themselves by their first names, and I am left to drawl an awkward 'Hii . . .' because 'Mr' and 'Mrs' are instantly nullified as appropriate titles to address them by as soon as their first names are mentioned.

My mother, on the other hand, would never have my companion call her anything except 'Mrs', perhaps unless we marry - and even then, I do not know what the most fitting solution would be.

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