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Kevin Kwong

Do you know what single professional women in their 30s are obsessed with these days: a) money; b) men; c) sex; or d) the latest Intel Pentium II Processor 266MHz?  My guess is b) with a lot of a), who are also very good at c) but will go and play with d) whenever their services are no longer required.

 Wrong. The answer is much simpler: themselves.

 Well, at least that is the kind of myth the mass media has created for this particular social group in recent years.

 According to popular television shows, movies, novels and newspaper articles, single professional women in their 30s (or SPWITT) are often good looking, intelligent, independent, strong and successful.

 These women are supposed to epitomise the progress of modern-day feminism and the epithet of sexual liberation and equality.

 Only, deep down, they are not.

 SPWITT are insecure. They are constantly obsessed with their appearance, their weight, the food they eat and whether the colour of their shoes matches that of their handbag, mascara and the computer screen saver.

 They also find themselves saying the wrong thing, to the wrong person, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

 So although a SPWITT may sit on the board and run a multi-national advertising company, she falters when confronted with her mother, microwave manuals and the men she fancies.

 Beneath that designer power suit lies not a hairy bosom but a 'real woman' who is emotionally confused and lonely.

 And SPWITT hate loneliness. They do not understand why they are lonely.

 After all, they are good looking, intelligent, successful . . . so why can they not find love?  Their sense of loneliness is further aggravated when their friends all find their Prince Charming while they date the Seven Dwarfs. So they end up sharing a luxurious multi-billion dollar apartment with their equally well-to-do gay male friends.

 This is the sort of life SPWITT lead, if the popular media (especially in the West) is to be believed.

 The thing is, while many of us have the intelligence not to believe whatever we watch or read, we love toying with the idea, which explains the popularity of the two most successful media creations in the '90s: Bridget Jones and Ally McBeal.

 Both of these fictitious characters - one from a British best-selling novel called Bridget Jones's Diary and the other from an American television series Ally McBeal (which is being shown on local television and has been nominated for 10 Emmy Awards) - have grabbed the attention of both males and females.

 Yes, single men love Ally McBeal too not only because the show is full of gorgeous looking women but, at last, they have found a common topic to discuss with their single woman friends. I recently called up a mate after the programme and he replied: 'Is that Laura?'  I said: 'Do I sound like Laura to you?'  He said: 'Err no. But I was expecting her call because she likes to discuss the show.'  Bridget Jones, too, seems to have captured the heart of many. I know one female colleague who religiously reads the diary column on the Internet every week.

 But why? WHY?  'What do you want me to say?' she says.

 'I do love to read her, I think she's touched on the feelings a lot of women have, but we were too afraid to say these things.

 'We're supposed to be modern, confident women, above all that, but we aren't.

 'I guess I like her also because she has insecurities - about men she's dating, other women, her weight, everything.

 'Do men feel insecure about women they're dating?' she asks.

 Do we?  I have no idea probably because I do not even think about these things.

 I used to read and enjoy the column every week until I found the writing repetitive. Still, I think the psychology and concept behind these writings about SPWITT is clever.

 Of course, the creator of Bridget Jones is a very smart writer, nothing like her alter ego, while that of Ally McBeal is an award-winning television writer and a bloke.

 Perhaps I should start writing a television script or novel that explores the life and frustrations of a single professional man in his 30s.

 But I have a feeling my masterpiece is not going to be long.

 9.30pm: Stumble out of bed to work.

 3.00am: Stumble back into bed in drunken stupor. Yuck!  The End.



Single, female, successful and obsessed