It is reassuring to know that the staff at the 56th floor bar of the Island Shangri-La Hotel value the health of their patrons so dearly. Very dearly, in fact. After a customer ordered two drinks, he was told he could not have tap water. 'We only serve distilled or mineral,' the waitress said. After insisting on seeing the manager, the customer was told: 'Because of the water quality in Hong Kong, for health reasons we serve distilled water - unless the customer asks for tap water. Then they can have it.' Hey presto, along came filtered tap water for no charge, and the customer lived another day - and that much healthier in the pocket. Smoking fix Nicotine-needy passengers are being starved of a fix after arriving at the new airport at Chek Lap Kok. But at least some staff have sympathy with those addicts suffering clear withdrawal symptoms at 7am, following a train ride from Central. One exasperated passenger who expressed amazement at the no-tobacco policy in all the airport restaurants was initially met with the stoic 'no smoking' decree by a restaurant manager. But as his face contorted with fear at the thought of six hours without a puff, the manager helpfully suggested: 'You could always smoke one in the toilet.' Given the stress suffered by passengers, the least the airport organisers could do is provide a smoking zone, one might think. In that way, at least there would not be such a long queue for toilet cubicles as nicotine-hooked passengers eagerly finger their cigarettes in a last-gasp hope of staying calm. Man's world Marketing, as described by Jerry Rosenberg's Dictionary Of Business And Management, consists of 'activities that accelerate the movement of goods or services from the manufacturer to the consumer'. A simple business philosophy, you may think. However, marketing minds at Procter & Gamble have Backbites baffled. The company abruptly decided to stop shipments, causing Tampax to disappear from store shelves in Hong Kong and China. The reason? To give consumers more choice. Perplexed, we called P & G for a more scientific explanation. There was little enlightenment. Were sales plummeting? No. Was it a popular item in Hong Kong? Yes. Has it been replaced with a similar alternative? No. It was a 'global decision' affecting a few selected centres - Hong Kong being one of them. And although the decision was not taken by the P & G head in Hong Kong, yes, the head in question belongs to a man. But now, under a barrage of complaints, a phone-in direct sales system is being hastily set up. Car economies Chim Pui-chung, disgraced legislator and darling of the press, is already doing his bit for taxpayers in his prison stripes. His honey-coloured Rolls-Royce, we presume, is gathering dust while the eccentric lawmaker contemplates his navel behind bars. That will be a relief to the taxpayers who footed his whopping $7,000 claim every month in petrol. At this point, we would like to mention a blast from the past. When Chim took up his post as legislator for the financial services sector, he boasted of his shiny new car. The car was a symbol of defiance - and Chim seemed to be good at these. 'I bought the car to show people I do not need the Legco position for the $60,000 a month allowance,' he told a Post reporter. It did not stop him siphoning expenses to feed the motor. Perhaps he was forced into it after realising the car was partial to the odd joyride. It travelled an average of 93 kilometres a day, or two daily round-trips from Central to Chek Lap Kok, plus a jaunt to Sai Kung.