CAN anyone tell us what a ''cross-sex massage service'' is? Patrons of the JW Marriott Hotel have been advised this interesting amenity is now on offer at the hotel's health club ''to those that need it''.

It can't be too pleasant - as a result the club is offering a $100 discount on their members' April subscriptions, ''owing to the slight inconvenience this may cause''.

Pass the warm baby oil, please.