YESTERDAY'S record stock market turnover of $7.7 billion was good news for the ever increasing ranks of stockbrokers. Guess who missed out? Yes, with appalling bad timing, the Government managed to fix up the completely predictable explosion in the stock market only days after cutting stamp duty. Stamp duty is Hamish Macleod's cut on share transactions, and the fall from 0.4 per cent to 0.3 per cent came in on April 1. Had the Government timed the boom two weeks earlier, taxpayers would have made nearly $8 million more. After 1997, this sort of mistake will not be made. Incidentally, it is a good job we don't believe those rumours circulating around Exchange Square yesterday that some key Legco members and others were told about the talks before the market closed on Tuesday and may have enjoyed an extra thrill at yesterday morning's rise. Yesterday's close of the Hang Seng Index at 6,789.74 is a record and an unusual setback for Marc Faber, the Hongkong investment adviser who is one of the few around who is prepared to admit the impossible, that share prices sometimes go down as well as up. Mr Faber was busy with his charts last night. Yesterday's rise was significant, he says, but a week's observation will be needed before it can be assigned to one of the categories used by technical analysts. One of those categories is ''an exhaustion gap''. This is a concept that was familiar to many brokers yesterday, especially as two weeks of pathetic trade had left their telephone arms badly out of condition. Baring Securities even had a fashion photography session in its trading room recently. Mr Faber was also busy looking for scissors. During the market's last run up, he promised to cut one centimetre off his ponytail for every 50 points the Hang Seng Index rose above 6,400. He declined the offer to move to an inflation-adjusted basis, which would allow him to keep more of his famous trademark. Mr Faber is sticking to his view that ''all the markets in the world, especially the US and Hongkong, are in the last stages of a bull run''. Some of his most excited rivals last night were making predictions for the Hang Seng Index that, if true, would require him to cut off not just his ponytail but his whole head. United front MANY readers noticed the real reason for the sudden Sino-British friendship carried in this newspaper's announcements section yesterday. ''Mr and Mrs Lui Ping are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Elsa to Mr Ian Dane,'' it started, with a picture of bride and groom. No, it's not a hoax with a spelling mistake. It is a real Sino-British marriage, and we wish them well. We also hope their marriage lasts longer than the talks, which are scheduled to last three days. Even Elizabeth Taylor can do better than that. Numbers game BOEING seems to have run out of names for its aircraft. This seems strange, given that previous ones have been the 707, 727, 737, 747, 767 and 777. Assuming ever-higher numbers, this would leave room for at least two new models, or 22 if they don't have to end in a seven. The Cathay Pacific annual report tells us that Boeing's new large aircraft has been named ''New Large Aircraft''. Twilight zone ADMAN Chris Dharmakirti of Millennium Communications had his fax machine break down yesterday. So he rang up the people who sold him it, Hongkong Telecom CSL, to see if they would come and fix it. The bad news was that he needed to sign a service contract before they would come and fix it. He was desperate - it was his only one, and he is in the communications business. So he agreed. The worse news was that they wanted to fax the service contract over for him to sign. ''They just couldn't understand,'' he says, surmising there may be people who have been stuck in this 1990s equivalent of the chicken-and-egg situation for weeks. Don't read this TAX specialist Fred Fredricks is becoming something of an expert on those confidentiality notices that get pasted on to faxes. He enjoyed the fax he got yesterday from lawyers Baker & McKenzie, who sent him a fax by mistake. Their confidentiality notice offered to pay his telephone charges if he rang the law firm to tell them of the mistake. Very generous. He also enjoyed the fax lawyers Sullivan and Cromwell sent to him by mistake this week. ''If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are notified that retention, dissemination, distribution or copying of this fax is strictly prohibited.'' Rather rude, really. After all, he notes, whose fault was it? Down Under FRED Fredricks has also solved the riddle of the upside-down letterhead and signature syndrome. ''All you have to do is use a computerised word processor and stick the letterhead in upside down,'' he says. We think you'd have to be pretty dim to do that.