WATER was much on legislators' minds yesterday. And thanks to a well-timed cloudburst, it was also much on their heads and down their necks. Outside the Legco building, a group of greenies huddled under a set of bright green umbrellas. Scheduled for question time were several green issues, including polluted sea water and environment-friendly electric cars. Most officials arrived in non-electric limousines. But soft. Who was this approaching on foot, the wind and rain in his hair, and not a saloon or chauffeur in sight? It was Tony Eason, Secretary for Environment, enjoying the elements over which he is technically in charge. He stopped to pass the time of day with the greenies. Someone about to head into the building called out: ''You're the only one without a green umbrella, Tony.'' ''Well at least I didn't arrive in a limousine,'' Mr Eason countered. Inside the chamber, Anna Wu had some shocking news. Officials in Zhuhai had announced they wanted to unite with Tuen Mun. (There is no accounting for taste.) To bring this about, they hoped to build a bridge from Zhuhai, the part of China near Macau, to Tuen Mun, that second Eden in the northwestern New Territories. Miss Wu was surprised the Zhuhai-ites had not had the courtesy to ask the Hongkong Government. ''I feel shocked,'' added Lee Wing-tat. ''If many provinces in China announce that they are going to build bridges to Hongkong, then there will be so many bridges linking up to Hongkong.'' There will also be some pretty long bridges around. Michael Leung, replying for the Hongkong Government, said that the idea was only a proposal, and they did not plan to make a fuss about it. What nice guys. Meanwhile, Hui Yin-fat wanted the third Sunday of November to be officially dubbed ''Senior Citizens' Day''. Speaking for the Government, Mrs Libby Wong pointed out that giving a day a name did not automatically make it a holiday. Tam Yiu-chung wanted it added to the list of official Hongkong days off. Mrs Wong pointed out that the territory already had an embarrassingly large number of official days off. The debate raged for some time. Nobody pointed out one rather obvious fact. As far as we can remember (and we have a good memory for this kind of thing), the third Sunday of November tends to fall on a Sunday, so it already IS a day off. Then it was time to talk about one of the most feared groups of people in Hongkong society: interior decoration specialists. In other countries, interior designers are usually characterised as effeminate, artistic people. Not in Hongkong. Here, the profession is a stronghold of rough, tough triads. They had been harassing and intimidating tenants who wanted their flats decorated, Pang Chun-hoi claimed. Legislators grappled with the image of ultra-aggressive interior decorators: ''You going to have a fuchsia-and-lemon bedspread to match the curtains or do we bring the boys round?'' Secretary for Security Alistair Asprey said: ''The police do not keep statistics of offences specifically related to harassment in the case of decoration. That's not a category of offence that is listed.'' Then it was time for Mr Eason to bring up some foul matter. ''Mr President, I move the second reading of the Sewage Tunnel Statutory Easons Bill. Um. I beg your pardon - Statutory Easements Bill,'' said the hardworking official. ''Er. Please excuse that slip, Mr President, due possibly to the subconscious feeling that I have given members their money's worth this afternoon.'' This terrifying bill gives Mr Eason the power to dig tunnels underneath your home to steer sewage towards its final resting place. With the people of Zhuhai and other provinces building bridges over our heads, and Mr Eason digging tunnels under our feet, Hongkong is going to be a wild place for the next few years.
