FIFTY people in Hongkong got large, heavy packages delivered to their desks yesterday. Recipients who stuck them under security detectors would have found each contained an odd metal device. But it wasn't a bomb. It was a bulky, used cartridge from a laser printer, costing about $940. A letter inside from corporate PR man Peter Sherwood said: ''How's this for a vast waste of money and resources?'' No, he hasn't turned into a wastrel, sending costly junk to people. He is trying to awaken interest in a recycling company shortly to open in Hongkong. The letter revealed no names, but we can give you a sneak preview. Colin O'Brien, former chief executive of Gilman Business Systems, calculated that office workers in the territory threw away 20,000 of these expensive items a month. He left Gilman, and will soon launch his own firm, Green Cartridge, to recycle the things. Orders are already coming in from big companies in Europe. It's hard to believe, but a Hongkong firm will be leading the way in an international pro-environmental venture. Definition of a true greenie: Someone who reads about the Titanic and asks how the iceberg was afterwards. Closer ties THERE was much interest in JMS's Chris Patten Tie yesterday. A foreign correspondent scurried off to ask the Governor's spokespeople whether he would comment on the ties, so he could send the story to London. A businessman rang us and said: ''Why pay $495 for a Chris Patten tie when you can go to Causeway Bay and get a Mickey Mouse tie for $30?''. A chap from Window magazine popped round to our office last night to borrow the pair of ties in our possession. Heaven knows what for. Incidentally, the Patten tie is the first in a series of Hongkong ties from JMS. Another one going into production at the moment has the slogan: ''I Failed Life Dynamics.'' Down to earth WE hate to be vague about names, but we have been persuaded not to print the name of the Suit, recently arrived in Hongkong, who made friends with a beautiful Cathay Pacific stewardess on his way here. He gave her his phone number, and was surprised and delighted when she called him last week. The Suit, who works as a fund manager in an international finance house, arranged to take her out for a meal and a film on Saturday. Unfortunately he chose Alive, a true story about one of the most hellish plane crashes in history. Not a good choice. Realpolitik CONGRATULATIONS to Alex Ye Longfei, Chan Wing-kee and Tony Fung Wing-cheung. These ''pro-China'' gentlemen won their important posts in the Hongkong General Chamber of Commerce by the means of free, fair and open democratic elections. Feels good, doesn't it? Crocs of issue RECEIVED a press release from Ronson Kwok Co about the leather fair. ''An exotic and variety of species, a 15 ft long stuffed white alligator will be unboxed this Sunday to draw the public's eye on Leather '93, the largest trade show in Hongkong. ''To add a bit more flavour, the show will demonstrate 'the sustainable use' of the animal, a chef especially flown from the States will be on spot preparing white alligator delicacy.'' We have often heard environmentalists and United Nations officials talking about the ''sustainable use'' of nature, but only in Hongkong have we heard this defined as stuffing animals and eating them. Off the planet DAVID Chappell of Lamma was waiting at the ticket office for the Lamma ferry in Central on Monday afternoon when a WEFT (White English Female Tourist) approached. She suddenly looked worried and turned to her partner: ''Do we need our passports?'' After talking to several Lamma-ites last weekend, we reckon the correct answer is: ''Not just yet, but . . .'' Dead end job TALKING about people whose names match their jobs, Eddie Naylor has just come back to Hongkong from visiting his former home, the village of Bildeston in Suffolk. Eddie, who does the Speaking of Money show on Metro News, said yesterday that the following services are provided in the village: Hardware: Chandler & Son. Food and Provisions: Staples. Undertaker: Death and Son.