FANGS ain't what they used to be . . . and in the case of tonight's BBC offering, Dracula, thank goodness they ain't. This version of Vlad the Impaler's tale was made in 1977 (so, what's it doing in BBC Week 1993 in the first place?), and the special effects are laughable.
Witness an absolute howler when Dracula (Louis Jourdan) is meant to be crawling down the sheer wall of his castle watched by a man hanging out of a window.
The effect is achieved by the age-old method of filming Dracula crawling along the floor painted like a wall, while the onlooker leans out of a trapdoor, then turning the camera on its side.
In this Dracula (Pearl 9.45pm), some fool forgot to turn the camera on its side - the resulting effect is less than special.
There are also bats bouncing around on strings, a ship on a stormy sea made from a blanket, and some extremely modern light fittings for what's meant to be Victorian England.
Add to that, possibly the worst attempt at an accent - this time American - since Dick Van Dyke played a Cockney chimney sweep in Mary Poppins, and you have all the ingredients for one hilarious night's viewing.
JEFF Goldblum (The Tall Guy) plays a middle-class nerd who abandons all to help a beautiful woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) on the run from some killers in the comic thriller Into the Night (World 9.30pm, Original Running time 115 mins).