FANGS ain't what they used to be . . . and in the case of tonight's BBC offering, Dracula, thank goodness they ain't. This version of Vlad the Impaler's tale was made in 1977 (so, what's it doing in BBC Week 1993 in the first place?), and the special effects are laughable. Witness an absolute howler when Dracula (Louis Jourdan) is meant to be crawling down the sheer wall of his castle watched by a man hanging out of a window. The effect is achieved by the age-old method of filming Dracula crawling along the floor painted like a wall, while the onlooker leans out of a trapdoor, then turning the camera on its side. In this Dracula (Pearl 9.45pm), some fool forgot to turn the camera on its side - the resulting effect is less than special. There are also bats bouncing around on strings, a ship on a stormy sea made from a blanket, and some extremely modern light fittings for what's meant to be Victorian England. Add to that, possibly the worst attempt at an accent - this time American - since Dick Van Dyke played a Cockney chimney sweep in Mary Poppins, and you have all the ingredients for one hilarious night's viewing. JEFF Goldblum (The Tall Guy) plays a middle-class nerd who abandons all to help a beautiful woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) on the run from some killers in the comic thriller Into the Night (World 9.30pm, Original Running time 115 mins). The plot is flimsy, but movie buffs should find plenty to enjoy in director John Landis' running commentary of old film and television ads. There are also appearances from a string of his fellow film-makers - including Jonathan Demme, Lawrence Kasdan andAmy Heckerling. David Bowie playing an English hit man is easier to spot, and Landis, whose films include National Lampoon's Animal House, appears as an Iranian bad guy. A CUNNING thriller in the Hitchcockian tradition is how Dead Romantic (Pearl 12.45am) is grandly described. It involves a heavily disguised serial killer on the loose in London, brutally murdering prostitutes. Switch to a country town, where a teacher (Janet McTeer who appeared in Precious Bane earlier this month) lives through the romantic poetry she teaches. She's secretly adored by one of her pupils (Johnny Lee Miller), and he becomes jealous when competition comes on to the scene in the form of Bernard (Clive Wood). This love triangle is somehow connected to the London murders. SHOULDN'T Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (World 8.30pm) be retitled Memoirs of the Rash and Infamous? Last week's show had boxer George Foreman revealing his intention to challenge Mike Tyson for the heavyweight title. That Tyson lost the title to James ''Buster'' Douglas in February 1990, and has since spent a lot of his time in jail, indicates how old this series is. Come on World, there are some programmes that can't just run and run.
