Hongkong Telecom chief Linus Cheung Wing-lam's birthday celebrations later this month won't be quite as eventful as he hoped. It seems Mr Cheung had planned to coincide the launch of Telecom's big re-branding and image overhaul with his own big day on May 30, when he turns 51. It was that day that Telecom was apparently due to change its name as part of Cable & Wireless' global re-branding of its various companies. But sources say that following an internal shake-up, the event is likely to delayed. Bad luck Linus, you'll just have to celebrate without ringing in the company changes. Want to breathe easy next time you travel on a plane? That's fine, but you may think to bring your credit card if you fly with Cathay Pacific. During a recent drive to get staff input on cost-saving ideas, one thrifty soul wrote to the in-house rag CX World suggesting that Cathay could consider charging passengers with breathing problems who required extra oxygen inflight. 'I'm very glad to inform you that we have now decided to do exactly that,' Cathay's chief operating officer Philip Chen replied gleefully. Before you start panicking, we are talking about bottled oxygen, not the stuff the airline happily distributes free of charge throughout its aircraft for your comfort. Other airlines already did, an airline spokesman said. The ultimate in a free market economy or just a breathless attempt to extract maximum value from passengers? Ever thought of renting unoccupied land from the Government? It's easy. Well, sort of. A resident on an outlying island recently applied to the District Lands Office to rent space on a hillside where she intended to grow flowers. Sure, said the department, but you'll have to buy a map. So she shelled out the standard $90 fee for an A4 photocopy of the land in question. She was then told it would take three to six months for the office to determine whether it would rent her the land and asked her to pay an administration fee . . . of $6,500. So now you know why Hong Kong has so much money in reserves - and so few gardens. The celebrations continue unabated down at the Securities and Futures Commission. Following their rock-till-you-drop 10th anniversary party last Friday evening, the SFC yesterday gave out gifts to the 27 staff who have worked there since day one. Among the secretaries is Paul Bailey, newly appointed executive director of enforcement. Having saved all that money last week by choosing to have their bash at the old Government House, the SFC was feeling magnanimous. So what did it get its loyal servants? All 27 received a gold pin decorated with the new, inspirational SFC logo. Lovely. One can only imagine the largesse that will be imposed upon them if they clock up another decade. Shares? They're really splashing out on the police force lately. Hot on the heels of their new boot issue, it was revealed yesterday that officers would also be receiving new extendable batons to replace the old wooden thwacking sticks. And, in what is surely the equal opportunity breakthrough of the century, female officers will now be allowed to carry the weapons. We are told the new batons have their own scabbard and sit high on the belt when collapsed and out of use. This solves the long standing complaints about the old wooden ones of discomfort and ineffectiveness which had plagued the boys in black - or khaki - for a number of years. Lai See wonders whether the cops will have a bash to celebrate their new arms. We all know it takes good old-fashioned graft and a few backhanders to get the Olympic Games. But one has to admire the attention to detail disgraced Australian International Olympics Committee member Phil Coles demonstrated in getting them to Sydney. The Australian newspaper reported yesterday that Mr Coles kept a 400-page dossier on other IOC delegates to determine the most appropriate gifts to offer each of them in exchange for their vote. One diplomat based in Beijing, at the time Sydney's biggest rival for the 2000 games, advised that sheep meat was the staple diet in Mongolia and that the remote country's IOC member 'might be seduced by the attraction of Australian mutton'. Another Paris-based diplomat suggested that Prince Albert of Monaco might be won over by video tapes of Australian Football League games. And we thought it was all BMWs, first-class airfares and luxury apartments.