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Charlotte Parsons

A week from Saturday, the world's most notorious trader will trade prison bars for a champagne bar.

 High fliers Nick Leeson and his lawyer are travelling in style on what promises to be one of British Airways' more turbulent crossings.

 The ex-con will be relaxing in the 747's first-class bubble.

 Lai See is not sure that's such a great idea. Our young Leeson's a bit of a bubble burster.

 Anyway, the flight's fully-booked economy section is seething with ladies and gentlemen of the press, none of whom are expected to behave in a ladylike or gentlemanly manner.

 We're told British Airways has taken 'security measures' to keep the baying hack pack from wreaking havoc on flight BA16.

 No doubt the penny-wise journos will try and pop into the bubble. No doubt BA staff will do their best to stop them.

 If you fancy a ring-side seat, we're told there are still three first-class seats left. Of course, in Hong Kong, the one-way ticket will set you back about $46,000.

 It seems our ex-con can afford it though. We're told he's footing the bill, not only for himself, but for his lawyer too.

 The plane is expected to touch down in London at sunrise on Sunday.

 If the pilot doesn't get lost, that is.

 We've noticed that when Leeson's around, people tend to lose their Barings.

Here's one from the tax-dollars-in-action files.

 It seems another edition of the Hong Kong Monthly Digest of Statistics has hit the stands.

 These are among the vital facts and figures that our Government gathers every 30 days:   number of rounds played at Urban Council crazy-golf courses (1,751 in the last three months of last year);   number of funeral parlour licences in force (a number unchanged in decades at six); and   usage statistics for the Ceramic Studio of the Visual Arts Centre (88.3 per cent full last February).

 We know what you're thinking. What does that have to do with the price of eggs? Lai See isn't sure.

 But we can tell you that, according to the Hong Kong Monthly Digest of Statistics, the price of eggs in February was 77 cents each.

It's a proud day for So Ma-le.

 The housewife yesterday received a certificate and cash prize honouring her 'alertness and bravery'.

 Our police force saluted her for helping them capture a swindler.

 The plucky housewife thwarted the conman last December, when a stranger asked her to 'watch over some electrical components'.

 Then, lo and behold, another man showed up in an electrical component-buying frenzy.

 So desperate was he that he didn't mind paying a steep price. He suggested the woman buy the bits of metal with her own money, then re-sell them at a staggering profit.

 Mrs So was not to be fooled. She'd heard about this on Crime Watch. But she brought the crook to her bank and pretended to take out the needed funds.

 The shyster was caught after she wrote 'call the police' on her withdrawal slip. Very cunning.

 But yesterday's Day of Pride may have been a little confused.

 We're not sure how the housewife felt when she realised Police Public Relations had declared her one of '40 Civic-Minded Men'.

Cheung Kong (Holdings)' corporate structure is meaningless and knowledge of it is useless.

 Lai See knows what you're thinking. Such comments are nothing more than catty back-stabbing - the bitter, twisted ramblings of the money-jealous.

 Wrong.

 Such comments represent the official opinion of the firm's public relations officer. We discovered this yesterday, when a reporter called Cheung Kong to ask their representative for a complete list of subsidiaries.

 The response?  'I don't think that's useful or relevant information. It means nothing to a reader.'  The PR woman then informed the reporter that she'd be more than happy to assist should a more interesting question arise.

 So good to find an information officer who has come to grips with her job description.



High life beckons again for released Leeson