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Darling,' Mr X purrs into his mobile phone. 'I'm desperately sorry, but I'm afraid I'm not going to make it home in time for dinner tonight . . . I'm stuck in a meeting'.

 'Really,' the icy female voice responds. 'And where exactly is this meeting taking place?'  'At the Hyatt, my love.'  'Is that so?' wifey replies. 'Then why are you calling from a Wan Chai love hotel?'  Such is the philanderer's future.

 Millions of cheaters are soon to be shaken out of hiding, thanks to new technology that turns mobile phones into tracking devices.

 On Wednesday, Lucent Technologies' Bell Labs unveiled plans they claim will allow cell-phone firms to pinpoint a caller's location to within 15 feet.

 The aim is to locate 999 callers in distress, technology magazine Wired News tells us. It would also be useful for providing driving directions and local traffic information.

 But Lai See thinks its just a matter of time before location information starts falling into the wrong hands.

 David Sobel, counsel for the Electronic Privacy Information Centre, seems to agree with us.

 'The concern is that, once the capability is developed and the architecture for location tracking is in place, it will be very difficult to restrict use of that capability only to emergency situations,' he told Wired News.

 As if cheaters didn't have enough mobile hassles already.

 Modern adulterers are already being tripped up by number registers, caller ID, electronic address books and speed-dial buttons, according to The Observer.

 Witness the case of a TV producer who was dumped when the mobile phone in his pocket accidentally dialed his girlfriend.

 She came home to an answer-phone recording of her boyfriend assuring the Other Woman that she was 'far more sexy' than his girlfriend.

 One married stockbroker said he was caught out when the name of his mistress suddenly flashed up on his mobile phone on the dining room table.

 'Given that I had never mentioned anyone of that name, and it was 11pm on a Saturday night and it was her home number, I was done for,' he told The Observer.

 For the unfaithful, every advance in telecommunications technology increases the chances of being rumbled.

 In France - the adultery capital of Europe - a storm followed the introduction of itemised bills as thousands of affairs were uncovered.

 France Telecom eventually backed down and replaced the last four numbers with asterisks, saving potentially millions of marriages.

 In Hong Kong, 68 per cent of adults now own a mobile phone.

 That puts us way ahead of Taiwan, where 48 per cent claim mobile ownership.

 Here, cheaters aren't the only ones who fall victim to the technology.

 A 17-year-old girl fell into the sea recently after wandering off the Tsim Sha Tsui pier engrossed in a mobile conversation and had to be rescued by a policeman.

 For others, cell phones are connected to jail cells.

 Mobile theft has been growing with the number of phones.

 On Wednesday, a would-be SAR phone snatcher appeared in court after unsuccessfully trying to overcome his victim by throwing pepper in his eyes.

 To him, Lai See has this advice. The next time you want to use pepper as a weapon, choose a victim who isn't wearing glasses.

 He is now awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty to robbery.

 In Australia, a duo of mobile-phone thieves terrorised two women on a golf course.

 They were naked except for the paint on their faces and the leaves in their hair.

 The duo leapt from the golf course bushes and did a war dance round the startled female golfers before making off with their phones.

 Lai See hates it when that happens.

 Still, maybe these kinds of crimes will stop once police are able to use the new tracking capabilities to pinpoint the stolen phones.

 Meanwhile, the existing technology has already taken its toll on relationships.

 Now that call waiting and call divert have been introduced, a lot less people are getting engaged.



Call cheats kiss goodbye to ring of confidence