It may be the most widely spoken language in the world but even if you are a fluent English speaker don't expect to understand what the natives are saying if you visit the British Isles.
A new phrasebook intended to help visitors to Britain warns never to take at face value what an Englishman says and not to be surprised to find his speech littered with four-letter words.
According to the Scots, Welsh, English and American academics who drew up the Lonely Planet British Phrasebook, many commonly used terms reflect a nation that is too polite to say what it really means.
When you are told: 'You really must come and see us soon', you should understand this to mean: 'If you call on us we'll pretend to be out.' And the book tells visitors to beware of such conversational gambits as: 'With all due respect,' or, 'Far be it from me to say . . .' Rather than being a humble admission of the visitor's superior knowledge, such phrases are likely to preface a commentary on his profound ignorance.
A true Englishman will also use an apology to express his superiority and insincerity, the book says. 'If you step on his foot he will say 'I'm so sorry', before you have time to apologise, thus exposing your bad manners and lack of breeding.' But the phrasebook warns that the British love swearing more than most other nations and many are virtually dumbstruck without recourse to four-letter words.
Potential visitors to Britain are told that large numbers of the country's inhabitants drape their entire discourse around popular profanities and resort to more colourful descriptions with an ease that would shock many other English speakers.
