If you've got a loved one who golfs at the Jockey Club's Kau Sai Chau course, why not tag along some time and watch him/her play? We know those golf club people would be delighted to have you. Just make sure you remember to wear the requisite trainers or golf shoes. And a T-shirt - the kind with a collar on it. Also a special Golf Course 'identifying apron'. Oh, and canvas trousers and a hat. It seems there's a fairly extensive dress code in force for people who only want to watch and chat. Well - better make that just plain watch. Chatting's pretty much out. Even if you can remember not to swear (a Forbidden Golf Act), sound of any kind cannot be emitted 'when golf players are playing, including putting'. This being a golf course, one assumes there'd be a fair amount of that sort of thing going on. A club member discovered the regulation issues when he asked officialdom if his wife could walk with him and watch him play. Officialdom then presented the couple with a list of no less than 14 golf-watching rules. 'Feeding of animals including dogs and birds is PROHIBITED,' it decreed. 'Smoking, running and swearing are PROHIBITED'. 'Refrain from standing in front of players when they are playing' (Shame. Lai See thought reactions to that one could be entertaining). There's also a warning to: 'Watch out for golf balls, especially flying ones, at all times'. At first, we wondered what lesser menace could be posed by the non-flying variety. Then we realised that approaching a motionless ball can place you in violation of Rule Number 11 ('Searching and/or picking up of other golf players' lost golf balls is PROHIBITED'). Anyway, by the time the couple reached the end of the list, their plans had been ruled out. The visitor had lost her enthusiasm and the golfer had lost his temper. At least the wife can honestly say that she saw her husband getting teed off at the golf course. It must be hard being a hard-liner. All that bonding-with-the-toiling-masses sounds like hungry work. Hence the presence of Tsang Yok-sing, Chairman of the Democratic Alliance for the Betterment of Hong Kong, within the decadent eighth floor walls of the Conrad's Brasserie. The pro-Beijinger was spotted there yesterday, wining and dining with Justice Department head of administration and development Pamela Tan. Guess the people's committee dining hall must have been full. The Transport Department yesterday unveiled its new policy document - the one that tells us how they're going to bring Hong Kong transport into the 21st century. This point is illustrated with a picture of a tram pulling one of their engineless-trailers. You probably won't recognise the vehicle. There's a reason for that. The last one was scrapped about two decades ago. Hmmm. Still, Lai See was impressed by the department's 'short-term parking' brainwave. This would see the introduction of specially designated, short-term, drop-off zones outside train and MTR stations. Here loved ones would be deposited in the morning, and then retrieved post-toil. In a rare moment of whimsy, the Transport Department officials decided to officially dub their programme 'Kiss and Ride'. But Lai See is a little concerned that the name will create some confusion. We'd hate to see all those new parking lots getting clogged up with creepy men searching for the new brothel. Lai See likes good causes. And www.thehungersite.com is one such. You don't have to send any money - the site's ever-changing sponsors do it for you. With the click of a button, you're sending cups of rice and wheat to the third world. Yes, this is food donation made easy. But Lai See was intrigued to discover a section headed 'policy on spam'. Would-be do-gooders are asked not to try and help the site by sending 'unsolicited spam'. It seems even the world's starving draw the line at eating that stuff.