The pressure of living up to a laddish culture is being blamed for a rise in suicides among sad, lonely young British men, while women are growing in confidence. Every week 12 males aged 14 to 24 kill themselves, according to a report by the Samaritans counselling service, which found an increasing minority of men feel isolated by changing social attitudes. The British Government has made reducing suicides one of the main planks of its public health aims, seeking to cut the number by 50 per cent in the next 10 years. But experts say not enough is being done to reach out to young men trying to conform to social stereotypes that make them think it is weak to ask for help when they feel depressed. Relationship problems are given as the main reason men become depressed, followed by unemployment, with many feeling they have failed if they are unable to support their partners. Men are more likely to turn to drink or drugs to blot out negative feelings but this in turn often leads to violence and further relationship problems. According to the Samaritans' survey, more than half the young men polled said they had thought seriously about suicide and had nowhere to turn for help. More than half said they would smash something rather than talk about their problems, to which most believed violence could provide a solution. One reason men suffer most when a relationship breaks down is that they are used to being leaders in their family life, yet most divorces and separations are initiated by women. When a relationship breaks down many men lose contact with their children as well as their partner, and are often the ones to leave the family home. A spokesman for the Samaritans said the growing suicide rate was a matter of serious concern. 'In 1996 there were two suicides a day among people aged 15 to 24 and the rate has tripled since the mid-1980s. What our research shows is that it is not that more men than women attempt suicide but that men chose more violent means which are more likely to end in death.' The most common method chosen by young men was hanging, while for women it was drug overdose - now less often lethal because of changes to the toxicity of common drugs. England football manager Kevin Keegan, along with several top football clubs, has been persuaded to join a campaign designed to encourage troubled young men to seek help. Experts believe part of the problem is that boys are doing less well than girls at school, where they are more likely to skip class and suffer poor exam results. According to figures published last week, the gap is widening, with more than half all girls passing at least five GCSE exams this year, compared to only 40 per cent of boys. Girls now outperform boys in maths, sciences, and design and technology - traditionally a male stronghold - as well as English literature and history. Teachers believe the gender gap has its roots in primary schools and hope that new efforts to improve literacy and numeracy among 11-year-olds will help reverse the trend. The situation among men and women in their 30s is equally bleak, with a report from the Economic and Social Research Council finding a growing segregation between the lives of single men and women. With the decline of the traditional family the next century is likely to see the majority of households in Britain holding only one person by 2010. But the report finds that while single women are enjoying a rich social life and new opportunities for learning and self-development, single men are sinking into a life of lonely takeaways, videos and computer games. The new confident single woman is more likely to have been to the theatre or cinema in the past month, visited or been visited by friends, and much more likely to have attended an evening class or local group. Alex McKie, a social forecaster, said women now have a huge range of choices about how they live their lives. 'It is very different for men whose role is ambivalent. The chivalrous gentleman is a laughing stock and the whole 'lager lad' fad is just a peculiar British phase.' Ms McKie said the different attitudes of men and women towards paid work explained the growing separation of singletons. 'Men have always been taught to define themselves in terms of their job rather than other activities,' she said. 'Women are better at relationships and activities outside the work sphere.' For single men the typical pattern is becoming a stressful working week followed by a weekend of bingeing on food and drink. As women become more confident and affluent they are often choosing to live on their own and for security reasons prefer to be in single sex buildings. Ms McKie predicted that if the trend continues, single men and women could even start living in different areas with British cities developing gender ghettos. Simon Macklin is the Post's London correspondent
