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Nothing like a thousand birthday greetings from your mystery stalker to get that 34th year of life off to a flying start.

 That's what Richard Li Tzar-kai got - that and an un-surprising surprise party.

 We're told that on the evening of his 33rd birthday on Monday, Little Richard (as his minions call him) had been asked to attend some sort of 'meeting' in the chairman's dining room.

 There, Pacific Century Group staffers lurked in darkness and silence awaiting the sound of their boss's footsteps. Then the door was thrown open, and the room bathed in sudden light.

 'Surprise!' cried the festive throng. 'Happy Birthday!'  It's the same routine every year.

 One Pacific Centurian said it would be a major surprise if Richard didn't get a surprise party. This year, the PCG boss didn't even bother feigning amazement.

 'This is the worst surprise party I ever had,' the Pacific Century boss informed revellers.

 Then came the gifts, the drinks . . . and of course the cake.

 The words 'You've Got Mail' swirled across the dessert's icing surface, with Richard's e-mail address recorded below.

 The icing was right. He did indeed have mail.

 We hear a 'secret admirer' sent the cyber boss 1,000 E-mails in the space of three hours. Bit excessive. Not to mention slightly creepy.

 But back to the party. We understand it had taken the PR department several weeks to arrange all the fun, drinks and cake. But then, Richard deserved it.

 After all, he did pay for it.

 The annual outpourings of staff affection are charged to PCG.

So the price of TraHK has been put at $12.88 a unit.

 This, we are told, was arrived at 'after scientific analysis of market conditions'.

 Sure it was.

 It's obviously sheer coincidence that in Cantonese those numbers are pronounced just like the words 'Easy to get rich'.

We see Sun Hung Kai Properties has joined the merry band of Disney converts. When pieces of that Mickey Mouse pie finally go up for sale, SHKP will be there bidding for a slice.

 But SHKP should take heed - not everyone who deals with those warm, fuzzy characters ends up feeling warm and fuzzy about it.

 Take the Pooh people for instance.

 Nigel Kitchener, countryside manager of East Sussex country council, was none too impressed when the theme park giant ruined his local bridge.

 Ashdown Forest in southern England is home to Winnie the Pooh's favourite bridge, according to children's author A. A. Milne.

 But that was just a quirky point of local pride until Disney plucked the bear from his quiet story-book world and sent him rocketing to on-screen stardom.

 Now swarms of American and Japanese tourists converge on that bridge every summer.

 It finally snapped under the strain, and so did Mr Kitchener's patience.

 'Despite the considerable amount of cartoon footage, we have not had a penny out of Disney,' he told Reuters, after asking the theme park giant to pay for the repairs. 'It was our idea to contact them.

 'We thought they have made enough out of Pooh.'  Hmm. Lai See would tend to agree with that statement.

 Meanwhile, back in the SAR, University of Science and Technology Assistant Professor Andrew Chang claims that 'Disney Fever has arrived in Hong Kong'.

 This, he says, is evidenced by the sudden arrival of Disney jokes.

 He told us he's just been sent this puzzler:  What do you call a mouse with two legs? . . . Mickey Mouse.

 What do you call a duck with two legs? . . . No, it's not Donald Duck, moron! It's any old duck. They all have two legs.

A few more Favourite T-Shirt Slogans:  * Filthy, stinking rich . . . Well, two out of three ain't bad  * That's it! I'm calling Grandma! (seen on an eight-year-old)  * A hangover is the wrath of grapes  * A Picture is worth a thousand words - but it uses up a thousand times the memory  * They call it 'PMT' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken.



Birthday boy's cyber-stalker takes the cake