How to mend a broken heart
Forget roses, chocolates or candle-lit dinners for two on Valentine's Day. Is there anybody nursing a broken romance? Still smarting over being dumped but at the same time wanting to let your ex-partner know how well you're living now? On the issue of splitting up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, there is a whole school of knowledge that tackles the psychological war partners face at the last stage of their relationship. A course offered by the YMCA helps partners see the light at the end of the tunnel.
'This course is for those who have experienced failure in a romantic relationship,' said YMCA counsellor Tse Pui-chi. 'If the wound is not properly treated, there may be long-lasting side effects which can lead to fear of intimacy, apathy in life, taking vengeance in future relationships or even suicide.' Searching for a partner is a stage almost everyone goes through in life, and handling an intimate relationship is not easy. Many who break up may feel their life and everything else has come to an end.
'If the person cannot face separation, he may feel bitter, lonely or miserable,' Ms Tse said. 'The pain needs to be healed.' As part of the healing process, the course provides an outlet for participants to vent their complicated emotions - fear, insecurity, anger, frustration and denial.
'Too often, people just let their experience pass without gaining insight into why they failed,' Ms Tse said.
'They leave their gash untended, not knowing that it could have an adverse effect on their future relationships.' But if the person is aware of his needs after his failure, he will seek further help like counselling so he will not repeat the pattern. He will learn how to re-perceive himself and rebuild his broken world.
'We hope to help participants deal with their experience from different perspectives so they know where their problems lie in the old relationship,' Ms Tse said.
One problem may be the values we hold, such as dating which means marriage or that girls are always passive in a relationship. Such values may cause incompatibility. In the course, participants will learn how to reconstruct their values.