Monday again. Why do the weekends always seem so short? Well, unless you happen to work for Pacific Century CyberWorks. In their parallel universe, last Friday was an official holiday. It was V-Day - the day when staffers observe two minutes silence to contemplate the battle waged and won against the forces of Singapore. Well, that two minutes silence bit may be a slight exaggeration. But CyberWorks did have a Victory Day holiday. On Thursday, Richard Li Tzar-kai sent out a memo telling staffers that they could have a break Friday and Saturday as a sort of reward for all their hard work on the Cable & Wireless HKT deal. But before you start thinking what a warm and fuzzy boss Little Richard must be, we should add that the memo urged employees to use this break to 'recharge your batteries to prepare yourself for more challenges in future'. Translation: eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may drop dead of exhaustion. Still, nice for the on-liners to get a bit of time off-line. No such luck for the demoralised forces of HKT or SingTel. And they're the ones who could really use one. But then, Richard had a lot more of them to spare. As Li Ka-shing's son, he's received plenty of breaks. What's in a name? A lot of hassle, if you happen to be dealing with the Immigration Department. A Western reader who recently got married in Hong Kong discovered that one when she tried to renew her employment visa. Three weeks after she lodged the paperwork, staff at the Lam Tin office informed her that she couldn't go switching her name about with gay abandon. They had no record of her being married and using a new name. Without it, we can't put the needed sticker in your passport allowing you to stay with your husband in Hong Kong. Sorry about that. Next. But, she protested, it was the Hong Kong Immigration Department that issued the marriage certificate in the first place. And that was only a few months ago. Furthermore, she had actually shown the certificate to counter staff in Lam Tin when applying for the visa - even offering to leave them with a photocopy. Naw, said they. Don't need it. But when she returned without it, lo and behold, they suddenly did. Sorry about that, was the response. You will not be provided with a visa until you write a letter justifying the sudden change of name. Next. Hong Kong immigration - they put the 'hitch' into getting hitched. A reader decided to check out the menu at Tin Shan Palace, the signature restaurant of Li Ka-shing's boisterously lit Cheung Kong Center tower. Refreshingly candid, was his verdict. Not for them the lavish descriptions that other restaurants resort to , with 'tender, sumptuous chicken dripping with delicately flavoured sauce carefully crafted from the finest ingredients by our master chef to produce a mouth-watering symphony of flavours steeped in the, etc, etc, blah blah'. Nope. Tin Shan offers 'Fried Minced Crap'. No one can accuse them of over-selling themselves. More whacky Hong Kong movie subtitles, courtesy of local film guide and author Stefan Hammond: 'Yeah, me evil and you flirty. We're two of a kind. Must I reveal the monkey affairs between you and Fatty?' - The Fruit is Swelling ; 'I am now going to whore in the coffee shop.' - Troublesome Night 4 ; 'You are bastard! Bad eggs!' - Untold Story 2 ; 'Grandma, refrain from so much foul language.' 'I'm so old, I can speak whatever shit I like.' - Trilogy of Lust ; 'Our dog is lout enoug.' - Witch Edited ; 'Pits off! Pits off! Pits off!' - Brother of Darkness ; Even odder were these, which were under the heading, 'Ghostly Grumblings': 'My wife is human, how come she's a rabbit?' - Erotic Ghost Story - Perfect Match ; 'Is there telephone in hell?' 'No, they transmit with frequency wave.' - Haunted Mansion ; 'Don't be afraid. Tie up that monster and it'll be alright.' - The Imp.