Words of comfort in crisis
There is nothing like a book to help you help your children come to terms with crises in family life, such as death or divorce.
How can a child ever be prepared for the possibility of a grandparent dying or has just done so? Two lyrical picture books, The Grandad Tree, by Trish Cooke and illustrated by Sharon Wilson (Walker $170) and The Wonderful Journey, by Paul Geraghty (Red Fox $85), come to the rescue.
The Grandad Tree is a warm story of two children, a grandfather and old and young apple trees in their garden, and the seasons that embrace them in the circle of life. Wilson's warm, soft-focused paintings convey the joys of family life and the naturalness of autumnal years.
An old tree sheds its leaves and one person dies. New leaves and a young tree grow, as do children. Cooke uses the seasons as a most appropriate allegory. The Wonderful Journey takes a less direct approach, harnessing a child's imagination to understand death. In this story, the words 'dead' or 'die', or anything related to them, are avoided. Instead, Grandma flies away, never to return in person. It is left to the child to say: 'She is dead.' The old woman knows she is going on her last journey and prepares the child narrator for her departure, through her story-telling and the wonderful times they have shared in a railway yard. Once she has gone, she will always be there, in memories and shared globe-trotting adventure stories that take them far away from the city smog. These stories can be recalled and invented at any time.
Like The Grandad Tree, The Wonderful Journey takes a secular approach to death, imbuing it with a spiritual significance on a personal level. The comforting message is that life goes on, and a person lives on in cherished memories and their contribution to others and the world. We can be with them any time in our dreams. Michael Foreman, another lyrical writer and illustrator, creates important warm feelings towards the grandfather figure in Jack's Big Race (Red Fox $85). In this charming story, a seafaring tradition is passed on from one generation to another, with Grandad using remnants from his life to build a winning raft for a race. Times have changed since Grandad's father built the shipwrecked The Ebenezer, but there is an important continuity in life as well.
Meanwhile, Babette Cole turns her wacky, exuberant humour to the subject of divorce. Two Of Everything (Red Fox $85) puts children in the driving seat of this difficult family situation. In this case, the parents are so busy disagreeing about everything they can't even agree to divorce, until the children show them what a good idea it is. They arrange the 'un-wedding' ceremony, the demolition of the family mansion, and the creation of two replacement residences that better suit their parents' incompatible interests. At the end of the process, everyone is happy, and the children have the added bonus of enjoying two of everything. Divorce is great, and even the vicar agrees! Cole's irreverence to conservative tradition knows no bounds. This may be helpful for estranged parents but the reality is rarely so easy.