It was a great relief to hear that Hutchison Whampoa group managing director Canning Fok got that HK$206 million bonus. At first Lai See feared his firm might try and fob him off with HK$200 million. As it turns out, the amount Hong Kong's highest paid executive just took home was three times his firm's total management payroll of 1998. Still, he did bring in a fair whack of cash. Mr Fok sealed HK$150 billion worth of deals last year. The Orange sale alone to Germany's Mannesmann bought a record-breaking HK$118 billion worth of profit. Then there was the mobile hook-up with Japan's DoCoMo, the US Global Crossing deal and spin-offs of telecoms operations in Israel and Australia, to name just a few. But what Lai See wanted to know was, what did he buy with this sudden surplus? Yachts? Wild parties on the concord? A fleet of Porches? Nope. Turns out Mr Fok fed a lot of it right back to his cash cow. He bought two units in Hutchison's swank Belgravia Place development in London and another one from the firm's project in Dongguan. He also spent US$7.5 million on a Hutchison convertible bond yielding 6.95 per cent maturing in 2007. Hmf. With her last bonus, Lai See purchased a fine set of matching towels. Today's quiz: Which of the following did not appear on Indiana University's list of 'Packing suggestions' for students spending a term studying in Hong Kong? A) Athletes foot medication. B) A semester's supply of birth control pills. C) Lots of condoms. D) An English-Cantonese phrase book. Yes, the answer is D. Which should tell you a thing or two about student life in the United States. It seems a herd of budding intellectuals from middle America is soon to be shepherded across to the SAR for a mind-broadening taste of Asia. So the top dogs at Indiana University have compiled a list of helpful hints. Students are warned that: 'White socks, loud colours, sweatsuits, cut-off or ripped clothing, and baseball hats will mark you instantly as an American.' And this snippet should give you some idea of the way Hong Kong is perceived by Indianan scholars: 'Toiletries are readily available in Hong Kong,' they are told. 'So don't pack a semester's supply unless a special brand is important to you.' Yes, the last time Lai See emerged from her mud hut and stumbled across a team of American explorers, they showed us something called 'toothpaste' and warned Hong Kong natives against eating it. Anyway, those 'Packing suggestions' we mentioned earlier did include 'athlete's foot medication, birth control pills to last for the whole programme, condoms'. Intriguing priorities. Anyway, consider yourself warned. Hong Kong is about to be invaded by hoards of rampant Americans with manky feet. Nothing like a heart-warming little animal story to start the week off right. This one was passed along to us. We're told it was extracted from New Scientist magazine: 'Turkish Government Minister Yuksel Yalova was recently asked to mark the opening of a new veterinary hospital in this country in Asia Minor. He was less than pleased when a ram and a calf were sacrificed in his honour in the city of Izmir. He intervened to stop a second ram being sacrificed observing that 'on a day like this, especially at the opening of an animal hospital, scenes like this are really not appropriate'. Here's a few more from our collection of 'Fun Things to do in an Elevator', courtesy of reader Claus Moeller. Show off a wound. Ask if it looks infected. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: 'Oh, not now . . . motion sickness!' Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 'You're one of THEM!' and move to the far corner of the elevator.