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Charlotte Parsons

It's a great day for the City University of Hong Kong.

 According to their own full-page advert, Asiaweek's MBA school rankings edition just proclaimed their programme 'Number One in Asia'.

 The self-congratulatory ad also included a breakdown of City's achievements in the various subcategories:  'No. 1 Best Distance MBA Programs in Asia', 'No. 2 Best Executive MBA Programs in Hong Kong' and 'No. 3 Best Part-time MBA Programs in Hong Kong'.

 The uni published a big Hurrah-for-Us photo, showing a gang of grinning faculty members clutching yellow tennis balls with black cutouts of the number one stuck on them.

 How nice. One slight problem though.

 They came in 21st.

 Asiaweek's overall rating put both the Chinese University of Hong Kong and the University of Hong Kong School of Business ahead of them (at eighth place and 11th place, respectively).

 True, the City folk came in first out of the six schools vying for the top slot in the 'Best Distance' subcategory.

 But we're not wildly impressed by their status as 'No. 2 Best Executive MBA Programs in Hong Kong'. Only two SAR schools competed.

 And guess how many were fighting for the top spot in the 'Part-time' category where the City brags of coming in third?  Yep, there were three.

 Below this catalogue of amazing achievements is a quote from the Dean of Business.

 Says he: 'Our No. 1 ranking and your support enable us to extend our boundaries beyond Asia'.

 The winner of this year's 'Number One Lai See Columnist' title wishes them luck.

 ? ? ? Linus Cheung has been lamenting lost loves at the annual results meeting of Cable & Wireless HKT.

 As he fielded press questions, he began waxing lyrical about the reason C&W and HKT decided to go their separate ways.

 It's all very bitter-sweet and civilised, really. Linus says the marriage between the two firms ended 'because they understand each other'.

 Wonder what they suddenly understood that made them run a mile?  ? ? ? We've been reading Harper's magazine.

 It seems someone there has been dipping into New Age shops.

 The usually stuffy magazine has reprinted a quiz from a Californian publication called Magical Blend.

 Its target audience is the crystals-and-yogic-flying set. It's proclaimed aim is 'to assist people in achieving their highest level of spiritual awareness'.

 With that in mind, the authors created the 'starseed quiz'.

 It's part of a larger segment devoted to answering the question we've all looked in the mirror and asked ourselves at one time or another:  The segment's called 'Are You an Alien?'.

 According to the quiz instructions, each 'yes' answer counts as one point, and high scores show that you have alien ancestry.

 Harper's reprinted it under the heading 'Space: The Fluffy Frontier' Are your feet more narrow than average? Do you like tapioca? Do you take special pleasure in touching materials, such as fluffy fur? Do you have a special fascination for willow trees? Does the word 'Atlantis' ring some sort of bell? Does the word 'Pleiades' mean anything? Does the image of Stonehenge ring that proverbial bell? Does the Amerindian concept of deity as Mother Nature (Changing Woman) seem acceptable to you? (bit high brow, that one) Do you have lower than average blood pressure? Is green your favourite colour? Is purple? Do you enjoy thunderstorms? Do you enjoy being barefoot? Have you noted an unexplainable attraction to certain people? Have you noted an unexplainable attraction to certain animals? Bit worrying if you answered 'yes' to that last one.



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