Ever wonder why the Elder Son of Li is so rarely featured in the press? Maybe it's because reporters frustrate him. Or because he frustrates reporters. For every smile that his father offers the press, Victor offers a frown. For every Rich comment, he gives a no-comment. Let's face it. The Cheung Kong Infrastructure (CKI) chairman just isn't a press happy, camera-comfortable man. Take yesterday's Annual General Meeting for instance. Victor's brow furrowed its way through two hours of press questions. At the end of it, he'd shared a wealth of non-information. This snippet is fairly typical: Q: Can you say which party was involved in your recent bid for the Australian power project? A: We are not bidding, mind you, for that project. We are also under confidentiality and we cannot speak on this project. Q: Is CKI going hand in hand with HKE on that project? A: It is still the same line that I told you before. If you ask specifically about this project, we cannot say a word. Q: Would you support minority-shareholder rights in the Jardines Group? A: We won't comment on other companies' business. Not a shadow of a smile tainted his features. Not a quip left his lips. Looks like CKI is living in the Victor-ian era - when to reveal anything at all was frowned upon. Controversy continues to dog Discovery Bay. And we do mean 'dog'. The canine of contention is called Rivawolf. His owner stirred up a temper tempest when she posted a seemingly innocuous notice on the neighbourhood's on-line message board. 'Need a strong man to walk my dog,' the message said. 'Preferably twice a day every day.' Some saddo called Jean Claude was aroused by this request, and informed the pet owner that he wanted to introduce her to every one of his muscles individually. But the real trouble began with someone pseudonymed 'Animal Lover'. 'Personally, I think it's sad you are even advertising for a dog walker,' the canine sympathist snapped. 'Why can't you walk your own dog?' 'Frankly, it's none of your business,' retorted Rivawolf's owner. 'It is my business,' snapped Animal Lover. 'You should have thought twice before getting a bloody dog in the first place.' At this point things heated up as DBers with strong pro and anti-getting-other-people-to-walk-the-dog leanings jumped into the fray. The dogfight raged back and forth, full of constructive comments like 'go and stick your head back up your butt and leave alone things you know nothing about'. It concluded when a random racist wandered in and proclaimed: 'It's nobody's business but Rivawolf's and her dog . . . don't you start to use your patronising high and mighty attitude here - go back to your own country you scum!!!' Sounds like they've all gone barking mad. Next month England's queen will be over the moon. Over a lot of them actually. British anarchists are planning a series of demonstrations to protest the existence of their nation's monarchy. One of them involves aiming bare derrieres up at the windows of Buckingham Palace. The so-called mooning protest is scheduled for June 3. Movement Against the Monarchy protesters are also planning to attend the Queen Mother's 100th birthday on August 4. 'Hell, if we're paying for it we might as well be there,' a spokesman told Reuters. No word on whether they plan to display any interesting body parts for that occasion. But come next month, the anarchists expect 2,000 protesters to flash 4,000 buttocks at the palace windows. Honestly. You wouldn't catch Lai See displaying that sort of bare-faced cheek.