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SCMP Reporter

I watch a girl scream out when she sees a little beetle. 'Don't be afraid, the bug is much smaller than you. Be brave,' I tell her.

I wonder why girls are so frightened of insects.

Boys do not scream, instead they kill the insect to rescue the girl.

But the reality is that some boys are frightened of insects. They dare not show their fear because of the unwritten rule that boys should be brave. Male friends have told me they have been terrified while watching horror films, but they dare not scream.

When girls are frightened boys feel that they should be the brave ones and protect the girls.

When a boy cries he is laughed at, but this is wrong. Boys should be allowed to express their feelings, it is natural.

In our society, boys are not supposed to show weakness.  This attitude is reinforced as a boy grows up and he learns to suppress his emotions.

But we should break free of this social taboo and end the old- fashioned rules which divide boys and girls.

Girls are also controlled by social rules.

For instance, many girls are obsessed about their weight. This may be because of the unwritten rule that girls should be gentle and meek.  But in the animal world, most female creatures are fatter than the males. They need the fat to help them feed and protect their baby.

Society rules that men should be brave and strong  while women should be gentle and obedient. But this distinction is man-made.

I like boys who are able to express their feelings and cry.  I like girls who are assertive and not  obsessed with their looks.  The concept of Yin Yang teaches that harmony is created by a balance of the masculine and the feminine.

We should learn to cultivate our 'other self' and discover both the masculine and the feminine within ourselves.

Ethical, Civic and Religious Education is sponsored by the Department of Religion at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. To make our column more interactive, we have set up a Web page at http://home.school.net.hk/=ecre for you to post your ideas, comments and suggestions. There is also a discussion forum in which readers  can talk to each other. You can e-mail  us at ecre@school.net.hk Graphic: YPECRCGLO 



Breaking the 'boys don't cry' taboo