Fallen star facing devil of a job to prove his innocence
Well, that explains everything. The guy was possessed by the Devil, simple as that. No harm done, no need for an inquiry, no punishment necessary. Pencil his name in for the next Test.
Yeah, right. If South African cricketer Hansie Cronje thought that placing the blame on the Devil would put the whole sorry match-fixing mess to rights then he is as stupid as he is reckless. Cronje, a Born Again Christian, may have strong beliefs but to bring religion into the issue points to him being a couple of balls short of an over.
His poor timing, just days before an inquiry into his alleged role in match-fixing, was an invitation to be clean-bowled and he definitely took his eye off the ball as well as his supposed saviour.
'In a moment of stupidity and weakness I allowed Satan and the world to dictate terms to me. The moment I took my eyes off Jesus my whole world turned dark,' Cronje told evangelist Ray McCauley, who has been portrayed as his spiritual coach.
That conjures up a weird image of Satan steaming in to deliver a fast ball and Jesus swiping at thin air - bang, Cronje was possessed. The trouble for Cronje is that Satan and Jesus, no matter their powers, are not reliable witnesses. He will not be able to call them in his defence at the inquiry which started yesterday in Cape Town, South Africa.
Mind you, they would not be out of place if they could take their places in the worldly surroundings of the Centre for the Book. Sounds more like a Bible study room than a court house. In actual fact, commoner Cronje will be before legal royalty - Judge Edwin King - and if half of the tales emerging from South Africa are true he better start saying his prayers.
Former teammates are lining up to tell damning stories of Cronje offering them huge sums to throw a one-day match in India and Delhi police will produce taped conversations with bookmakers which seem to incriminate him.
While Cronje was blaming the Devil for his predicament, a couple of other sportsmen were thanking their God for sparing their lives. Just a few weeks after David Coulthard told heaven to wait after a plane crash, top jockeys Frankie Dettori and Ray Cochrane miraculously escaped from an aero wreck.
Dettori, a quick-witted character, and Cochrane did not really have time to call for God's help as the plane plunged to the ground but Dettori was acutely aware of his mortality. 'We are dead, mate, this is it, we are gone,' he shouted at Cochrane.
Thankfully, they are still with us and if Coulthard's experience is anything to go by the duo will soon be back in winning action. Coulthard has been taking full advantage of his new lease of life. There seems to be a renewed focus to his driving and he was superb in winning the Monaco Grand Prix on Sunday to cut Michael Schumacher's lead in the driver's championships.
Winning Monaco has always been an ambition of Coulthard's and whereas luck has deserted him round the twisty, road circuit on several previous occasions, fortune was his co-passenger this time.
Dettori has won just about everything in racing bar the Epsom Derby and will miss Saturday's race because of injuries sustained in the crash. But keep him in mind when the Derby comes around next year - these lucky escapes may just be a talisman.
