'I'm not comfortable having them,' Ms Sharpe sighed.

'I really shouldn't have Dao Heng Bank signatures.'

Normally, in the face of such a security breach, Lai See would suggest the bank consider bringing in a security firm.

But that's what got them into this situation in the first place.

For almost a year now, faxes meant for Securicor have been flowing through Ms Sharpe's fax machine.

Last September she received another confidential document from a different Securicor client alerting her to the exact time and location of a money pick-up.

Fortunately for the document's authors, Ms Sharpe is a garment trader and not a cash-strapped triad leader.

It appears the problem may lie with Securicor's letterhead.

Ms Sharpe's fax number is one digit different from Securicor's, so she's guessing their figures are either too small or too blurry for the firm's clients to read.

That's why she keeps ending up with documents meant for them.

The clothing dealer did contact the security company last year informing them of the problem. Yet still the wayward faxes roll.

Maybe she should change her line from trousers to security breeches.

Notable failure: Ah, the Group of Eight summit. All those economic geniuses coming together to wield ultimate power over the world's money.

Well. The money they can get to work, anyway.

Which would tend to exclude the G8's own banknotes. Those were specially created to mark the big meeting of minds.

Last Wednesday, 2,000 yen bills were issued, commemorating the world leaders' summit in the southern island of Okinawa.

But by Friday people began noticing that Japan's vending machines refused to accept them.

Turns out there's a slight problem with the serial numbers.

'It was a mistake by the people involved with the printing,' an official told Reuters.

About 5,000 of the bills have been accidentally printed with two serial numbers on the same note. So it could be a while before Japanese cash dispensers are able to deal with them.

Maybe US President Clinton was among the disappointed visitors who couldn't get the apocryphal schoolgirl-knicker dispensing machines to work. No wonder he left early.

Cryptic come-ons: While we're on the subject of great minds meeting, here's an extract from 'Top Mensa Pick-up lines' - the latest classic to be posted on Topfive.com:

Towards what end does a substantially empathetic demoiselle such as yourself inhabit a locus such as this?

By visually measuring the wrinkles in the front of your pants, calculating your body mass based on your height and weight, and dividing that number by your waist size, I am able to determine that you have absolutely nothing in your pocket and are, in fact, pleased to see me.

Hi, I'm Eric Ben Firdit, which, coincidentally, is an anagram for 'terrific in bed'.'

According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be making love right now.

I know 200 ways to please a woman. Tonight I'd like to finally try one.

What's a mind like yours doing in a body like that?

Graphic: whee26gbz