Swedish transplant unlikely to revive the ailing patient
There used to be a popular television game show called What's My Line which gave contestants clues about a person's occupation. You won a prize if you guessed correctly what job the guest did. No prizes on offer here, but let's play the game anyway.
'This cultured Swede has integrity, sustained success, fluency in English and an ability to inspire those around him.' Too easy, wasn't it?
Sven Goran Eriksson, who coaches Lazio in Italy, is the new manager of the struggling England football team. The clues gave it away, really.
To bring out the best in the gifted David Beckham, you need to be cultured, otherwise you could not put him at ease with stories about the time you went to see the Spice Girls, including David's missus, in concert. To bring out the best in Tony Adams, you need to have integrity, otherwise you could not talk openly about the problems encountered by a recovering alcoholic.
To bring out the best in Nick Barmby, you need to have had a history of sustained success as it is something the poor lad has never enjoyed. To bring out the best in Teddy Sheringham, you need to have an ability to inspire those around you as Sheringham hardly speaks to his sometime striking partner Andy Cole.
Okay, so a down-to-earth Geordie, a crafty Cockney or even a dour Scot would be better equipped to deal with the disparate personalities that make up the England football team but, it seems, the likes of Bobby Robson, Terry Venables and Alex Ferguson were either unavailable, unwanted or unpalatable.
So the English FA appointed a foreign coach with no international experience to lead a team lacking in patriotic fire towards the 2002 World Cup. Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. A foreigner in charge of a club side is an easy enough gig. You spend hundreds of millions of dollars to sign the best players, preferably those from your own country who speak the same language and think the same way, and hire an interpreter to tell the rest how you want the game played.
You cannot buy in talent, you will never really know what is going on in your players' minds and you can hardly give a rousing dressing room talk about patriotism, heart and playing for the flag, especially if the opponents are Sweden.
Given the stick handed out to English coaches of England at the merest hint of failure, it is a safe enough prediction that Eriksson won't enjoy a honeymoon period. By the time he takes up the job next July, England will have fulfilled three more World Cup fixtures against Finland, Albania and Greece and Eriksson could immediately face a win or die situation.
Gordon Taylor, the chief executive of the English Professional Footballers' Association, summed up the thoughts of many when he said: 'I wish him well, but I think there will be tears at the end of the day. I just can't see it working out - it is a very sad day for English football.'
