Rave revver in his own bedtime
Lai See often tries to pass herself off as a hip-and-trendy sort.
Lately, we've taken to shamelessly dropping Llewellyn Owen's name into casual conversation. More commonly known as 'DJ Welly', he just hit the British music scene. Welly is a record-breaking performer, famed for his skilful blending of hard-core house music.
He's been revving ravers from the Glastonbury festival to London's Drome Club.
In a recent interview, the rising star spoke modestly of his first gig. 'I didn't get the bug straight away,' he told a Brighton newspaper. 'It was only when I was about five and I started collecting records that I really got into it.'
Did we forget to mention that DJ Welly is eight years old?
That record he broke was for 'World's Youngest DJ'.
Amazing. He must have some seriously convincing fake ID to get into all those bars.
We're told the hard-core rave DJ's mummy makes sure that her son's sets are carefully timed so as not to interfere with bedtime.
The mini-mixer is featured in the 2001 edition of the Guinness Book of Records.
Lai See was excited by the discovery that the latest crop of records has been published.
Some time ago, we began following the exploits of another Guinness fame-seeker right here in Hong Kong.
Barry Kwok's mission: to vanquish all who would challenge him on the Peeled Chest-Skin battlefield. He claims to hold records in two sub-categories: the world's oldest piece, and the world's largest piece.
And that's not all. Barry's flake is also shaped like a map of China.
Lai See has seen this 22-year-old skin with her own eyes, lovingly preserved in a stamp album. It's owner is afraid to move flats for fear the atmosphere in his next home might not favour its survival.
When last we spoke to him, Barry had submitted his claim to Guinness and was anxiously awaiting word back.
Ever the altruist, Lai See wrote to the record keepers to find out what was holding things up.
How many more pieces of peeled chest skin would have to be measured before Barry could at last take his rightful place alongside the guy who blew the longest piece of spaghetti out his nose?
Time passed. Until at last, an answer. An earnest sounding gentleman from Guinness Research Services informed us that Mr Kwok himself was stalling their investigations by failing to provide the required written 'independent witness' account of the day that nine-inch flake parted company with Barry's chest.
'The onus is now on Mr Kwok,' the letter concluded.
So it was with considerable excitement that Lai See scanned the Hong Kong section yesterday in search of 'World's Largest and Oldest Piece of Peeled, China-Shaped Chest Skin'. Sadly, it didn't feature on the SAR's list of accolades.
But take heart, Hong Kong. There are many other conquests of which we can be proud. As far as Guinness is concerned, we really take the cake.
Seriously. We took the 'Largest Moon Cake', the 'Largest Zong Zi Rice Cake', the 'Largest display of rice dumplings' and the 'largest Chinese Dumpling'.
Lai See had never before noticed Hong Kong's obsession with over-sized desserts.
And in case you were wondering, Chest Skin Man's brother has at last recorded the details of his brother's feat and submitted them to Guinness.
The fight for this record is a family affair. Barry is doing this, not just for himself, but for his fellow Kwoks.
'In my family, starting with my father, we have always enjoyed squeezing pimples and peeling another's skin,' he informed Lai See.
He added that he planned one day to pass his chest flake down to the next generation.
It's always a thrill to witness a dynasty in the making.