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Charlotte Parsons

Bored? In need of a break? Fancy a holiday but lack the time or the money?

Loads of people are feeling that way right now.

Well. Loads of people who don't work for DDB Needham.

We hear the ad agency recently celebrated its rise to the number two slot in Hong Kong.

Apparently they just wooed Philips away from a rival firm.

Profits are up, moods are upbeat and higher-ups are feeling generous.

So they decided to reward a few of their staffers with a little treat.

By 'a few' we mean about 200.

And by 'a little treat' we mean a trip to Japan.

Lai See was amazed.

Why had the advertisers been treated so generously?

The answer: 'Because their boss is Needham and because their boss is Needham'.

Oops. Our mistake. Make that second bit 'their bosses need 'em'.

Silicon sales solution:  Raise a housing cheer.

We've just learned that Hong Kong is at the forefront of technology in the industry most dear to us, the property sector.

Reader Neil Bailey alerted us to a recent breakthrough.

He discovered it inadvertently, while reading a notice posted by the Estate Agents Authority.

'Computerised Salespersons Qualifying Examination', it said.

Good. They can only be less annoying than the human variety.

Moo poo for flu, twice a day, after meals:  We've seen some weird scams in our time but a woman in Cambodia really took the prize.

She was arrested on Friday after trying to pass off a lump of cow dung as the cure for AIDS and other illnesses.

You Kim Chorn instructed her clients to mix the dung with water, then either drink it or smear it over their bodies, an Associated Press report tells us.

The con artist told police that a dream had informed her that the bovine possessed a special spirit, and that its dung would cure deadly diseases.

But really it was just a load of bull . . . faeces.

Project head and shoulders above the rest:  Lai See just read a tall story.

It seems the Vietnamese Government is backing a project aimed at increasing the nation's stature in the international community.

We mean that literally.

They want to make Vietnamese people taller.

It seems there's some concern over the fact that the nation's men are about six inches shy of the world average, with women falling 4.7 inches short.

Leaders of the poverty-stricken nation have earmarked US$100,000 for the let's-get-taller project.

Sounds like they've reached the height of stupidity.

Microsoft to install new windows:  Microsoft windows broke.

We refer to the glass variety. Three of the corporation's buildings were hit last week when that earthquake shook Seattle.

According to one e-newspaper: 'Screams erupted at a nearby hotel, where Microsoft founder Bill Gates was addressing an education and technology conference.'

An hour or so later, the quake hit.

Humourist Brad Templeton had this to say on the day of the shake:

'Don't feel too bad for the problems Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson has had with the appeals court which may stop his plan to split Microsoft in two.

'Even God failed today in his attempt to split Microsoft in two.'

Graphic: whee05gbz



Ad agency provides for the needy