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Jake Van Der Kamp

HAVE YOU EVER heard the one about the stagehand who had ambitions to become an actor and pleaded with the theatre company for years to give him his chance?

No? Well, the producer finally decided to be kind-hearted and our man got his costume and his one line part - 'Hark, I hear a cannon'.

Off he went for weeks to practise it over and over again - 'Hark, I hear a cannon. Hark, I hear a cannon'.

Come the big day and there he was in the wings, dressed in tights, ruffles, and carrying a long pike - 'Hark, I hear a cannon. Hark, I hear a cannon'.

At the appropriate moment they pushed him out under the limelights, there was a big 'bang' offstage and out came his line.

'Hey! What the hell was that?'

He has done it again, has our esteemed financial secretary, Antony Leung Kam-chung, flubbed his lines in public once more.

While still licking his knuckles for the drubbing he took after saying the Hong Kong dollar's link to the United States' dollar was an obstacle to an efficient economy, he went on stage yesterday for a media session at the opening of the Joint Hong Kong/Guangdong Economic Forum and was predictably asked about the peg.

You can almost picture him reaching down into his trouser pockets one last time for that piece of paper to make sure he had his version of 'Hark, I hear a cannon' properly swotted and then proceeded to deliver it in his usual rambling fashion.

'Obviously, this is an issue that has been in existence for the last 18 years. From time to time people are asking the Government to review it. And I have said many times, obviously it is a rigidity and it is a fact. So there is no point in denying it.

'But on the other hand, due to various reasons including the very important reason of maintaining stability in Hong Kong, this topic is out of bounds, meaning we are not going to discuss it and we are not going to do anything.'

But could he leave it at that? I ask you. Could he? No, he could not. 'Right now, the peg will remain.' Ah, Mr Leung, sir, could you please tell us what you would take it to mean if I said, 'Right now, I don't think it will rain'? Perhaps your understanding of this simple statement is that I think Hong Kong will soon become a desert and stay that way forever.

Others may put a different cast on it, however. They may take the view that I only wished to say it would not rain immediately but, what with global warming and the weather we have been having recently, well, anything could happen by this evening.

It is only a matter of how you understand it. Obviously, your opinion is as good as mine and no doubt you could get a unanimous vote for your interpretation if you took it to the National People's Congress, but you may not want to hold that vote here.

In fact, to be plain about it, when you tell people 'right now, the peg will remain', what you are telling them is that you will not abandon the peg today or tomorrow, but, keep your options open because next week is not right now.

You may be grateful that most people who heard you or read what you said know the peg is under no great threat anyway just now. Imagine, however, if you had been financial secretary three years ago and made your 'right now' statement at that time. Bye-bye peg.

The only peg that could have been found a day later would have been the one on which you were hung out to dry.

Do you not know, sir, what 'we are not going to discuss it' means? It means that you read out the lines you have been given and then you shut your mouth, end of story, full stop.

Yes, hark, I hear a cannon indeed, a loose one. Duck for cover, folks.



Monitor