At a presentation on Friday, Moses Cheng Mo-chi, chairman of the Advisory Committee on New Broad-based Taxes, tried to soften the blow of potential new taxes with a selection of quotes. 'I believe that every right implies a responsibility, every opportunity an obligation.' - John D. Rockefeller Jr, oil mogul. 'Every advantage has its tax.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century essayist. 'To tax and to please, no more than to love and be wise, is not given to men.' - Edmund Burke, 18th Century Member of Parliament. 'The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.' - Theodore Rubin, contemporary writer. But Mr Cheng forgot one: 'A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us just wait to be taxed.' Down the tube: If you ever find yourself sitting in a crowded train in the London Underground surrounded by grimacing Cathay Pacific Airways crew, don't think about offering them your seat - they would rather wipe their hand around the rim of a recently flushed toilet bowl. In its regular newsletter Infauline, the Flight Attendant Union (FAU) warns members about travelling on the London Underground. 'FAU received several e-mails recently concerning the health risk [one is exposed to] when riding on the London Underground,' it says. 'A team of scientists from one of the most prestigeous universities took apart some seats and made some awful and alarming discoveries. 'We would not reproduce the content here for fear of putting you off so we advise you to visit our Web site for the details and warning.' A survey purported to be by the Department of Forensics at University College London discovered among other things, the following on a tube seat. Four types of hair samples (human, mouse, rat, dog); Seven types of insect (mostly fleas, mostly alive); and Rodent excrement. When the seats were taken apart, the team discovered: The remains of six mice; The remains of two large rats; A previously unheard of fungus; and That it is far more hygienic to wipe your hand on the inside of a recently flushed toilet bowl before eating, than to wipe your hand on a London Underground seat before eating. Fortunately, it proved to be a hoax. There is a University College London but there is no Department of Forensics and there was definitely no survey. So now Cathay cabin crew can land their posteriors safely on the seats. On the margin: HSBC analysts must be very bullish on the market. The London-based bank with a Hong Kong listing is touting its Securities Margin Trading Service with a leaflet to its Premier account customers. An easy-to-follow table demonstrates how HSBC customers can become filthy rich with a margin trading account. At the top of the table is the statement: 'Assuming that the value of stock increased by 20 per cent after one week . . .' Said one Premier customer: 'WHERE DO I SIGN?' No expense spared: In these difficult days of cut-throat pricing, big vendors have been putting in ridiculously low bids, thus ensuring themselves a project. Jardine OneSolution (HK), Expert Systems, ELM Computer Technologies, System-Pro Computers and PCCW-HKT Business Services have won a tender for the supply, delivery, installation, commissioning, maintenance, training services and other related services of computer systems for the Education Department. As one tender watcher puts it: 'It is highly reassuring to know that the Hong Kong Government values its digital drive [as well as education] so highly.' The winning bid: HK$1. Graphic: whee04gbz
