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David Evans

More wild and wacky adventures from Hong Kong's service providers.

This week's simple request that turns into a major headache features a long suffering telephone service provider, a credit card, banks and a consumer rapidly losing the will to live.

But first . . .

'Our continued efforts to increase overall efficiency and productivity within PCCW [Pacific Century CyberWorks] will not diminish our commitment to deliver the highest quality service to our consumer and commercial customers,' chairman Richard Li Tzar-kai said about recent sackings.

And the customer . . .

'I tried to cancel the direct debit from my credit card as payment for my [PCCW Internet service provider] Netvigator account.

'I was given a form to fill out and told it would be amended in four weeks.

'When I asked why four weeks [as I'd just done the same with my mobile phone and the change was effective immediately], the shop assistant mumbled something about banks.

'And when I mentioned that my mobile phone hadn't taken four weeks, he said that was because it was a mobile phone [?].

'When asked what would happen if PCCW tried to take out this month's fee from a credit card account which no longer existed, I got a blank stare and was reminded that it would take four weeks.'

'I expect there would be a charge for the disconnection of the service followed by an additional charge for reconnection,' he said.

Next week, Mr Smith tries to get his electricity bill in English and is sent on a six-month intensive language course to Yuen Long.

The very idea: Would you ask Arthur Andersen to balance your accounts, United States investment bank Merrill Lynch to advise you on energy plays or Enron to invest your pension?

You would? Then perhaps you should call Korea-based Bookook Securities to handle your portfolio.

Seventh heaven: Romance novelist and socialite Eunice Lam Yin-nei might want to include the following as a foreword in her yet to be published tome - a pronunciation guide to European brand names for wannabe tai-tais.

The Tai-Tai Prayer:

Armani, which Art in Landmark, hallowed be thy shoes.

Thy Prada come, thy shopping done, in Central as it is in Paris.

Give us this day our husband's Visa gold card and have him forgive us our balance, as we forgive those who charge interest against us.

Lead us not into Mitsukoshi and deliver us from Wing On.

For thine is the Chanel, the Gaultier and the Versace.

For Dolce & Gabbana, Amex.

Talk it up: Psssst,  wanna hear a secret? About half of Australia's workforce believe gossip destroys professional relationships, with one in 12 women quitting their job over it, according to a study by a recruitment company.

The industry-wide survey of 4,500 employees by TMP Worldwide revealed 50 per cent had been the victim of false workplace gossip.

Forty-seven per cent of employees between the ages of 25 and 34 said gossip was negatively affecting their work environment, but only 17 per cent over 55 felt it was a problem, AAP reported.

Advertising and sales and marketing were most prone to workplace gossip, followed by the human resources sector.

Most victims - 67 per cent - were general managers, executive officers or managing directors.

TMP Worldwide's Australasian practice manager for human resources Darren Robinson said gossip was inevitable and employers should use it to their advantage. 'It can be used as a communication channel and we all know it's the fastest,' he said.

We agree Darren and, by the way, is it true you wear purple polyester Y-fronts?

Graphic: whee30gbz



Direct debit a hang-up for fed up user