Six months on and Matilda Hospital's accounts department is still hounding Charlie Middleton to pay his bill. But unless they accept bones or heavily chewed plastic toys, they are in for a long wait. The $800 bill is the sixth sent in as many months thanking Charlie for choosing the Matilda and hoping his stay was 'as brief and pleasant as possible'. Charlie is a five-year-old golden Labrador. His owner, Georgina Middleton, has 'phoned, faxed and e-mailed' the hospital to point out that no member of her family - including the dog - has used the hospital's services. But either the administrative office isn't listening or Charlie slipped his leash, defied the hospital's ban on canines and trotted down for a check-up by himself. 'In which case,' muses Middleton, 'you would have hoped the doctors would have diagnosed his, you know, dogness.'