This is not actually my problem, but my friend's. I guess she doesn't really know it, but her parents don't trust her. Whenever she goes out, her parents insist that an adult accompany her and her friends or they won't let her go. Recently she asked me if she could come to my house to use my computer. Her dad called me to check that she was there. This may sound spiteful of me, but I don't like the idea of her dad calling me every time she wants to do something. I'm not sure what to do. Please help.
Trusty
write@ttitude says:It is a fine line between caring for friends and intruding in their lives. You are clearly a good friend, but be careful about overstepping the mark. Sometimes it is better for people to fight their own battles. It is annoying when parents intrude on your life. The first step is to realise that they do it because they care. Your friend is lucky to have such a concerned father. If she finds his concern excessive, the best thing she can do is prove to him that she is trustworthy - and this takes time. She should be patient and show him that she knows what his concerns are. By showing him that she is sensible and has good decision-making skills, he will in time begin to trust her more. As her friend, be patient and polite with her father and he will learn to respect and trust you too. And that will mean fewer phone calls checking up on her.
I started at my new school at the beginning of the year and have made some friends, but they are strange. We have lunch together and get on well, but when we are in class, they ignore me. If other classmates ask if they are my friends, they just ignore the question. I asked them why they do this and they said they were only joking. They want to meet me over the summer holidays. Should I see them? Are they my real friends?
The New One
write@ttitude says: Being the new kid at school is always tough. Well done for having made friends already. You are right to ask them about their contradictory behaviour. They are not very brave if they cannot stick up for you in class, but that does not mean they are not your friends. It takes time to build up friendships. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Spend some time with them over the summer and see if you enjoy each other's company. I'm sure if they get to know you properly, they will stand by you in class next term. If not, it is time to think about making some new friends.
