Walking into Boca is like stepping into a music video - all dark wood, grey flooring and blue glass. Its tables are full of barely-20-somethings - miniskirted, coiffed and freshly poured into their push-up bras. Some are accompanied by equally well-endowed, pin-striped bankers and other 'cool' Central types.

Sadly, life isn't a music video and scratched surfaces can reveal blemishes beneath even the most beautifully airbrushed faces.

Such is the case at tapas eatery Boca, where form takes precedence over function. This ethos first wiggles over in the slim shapes of the waitresses, wearing T-shirts with 'babe' printed on their backs. Three in turn ask for my companion's order, even though he barely had time to flex his biceps, sit down, or peruse the menu - because it hadn't been offered to him.

Further reflecting the laid-back approach, wine and water are poured with the bottles comfortably resting on the glasses.

We ordered a seafood selection ($190) - seared tuna, grilled sardines, breaded calamari, marinated octopus and mussels - and grilled eggplant with goat's cheese ($68). The food was good-looking too. Unfortunately, like everything else, it was overdone. Seared tuna shouldn't be fully cooked, it should be pink in the middle. Nor should mussels fall apart when you try to take them out of the shell. As my companion so uncoolly remarked: 'It's no party for the taste buds.'

And asking us if we wanted bread before charging $38 for it - even if it is delivered with unrequested hummus - sucks.

The cost: A meal for two, with a bottle of Villa Maria riesling ($260), two bottles of mineral water ($45 each) and a 10 per cent service charge was $716.