A reader is impressed with Cheung Kong Infrastructure's (CKI) plans to use hydrogen as the fuel of the future. CKI executive director Barrie Cook is promoting hydrogen as a back-up power solution for buildings in the Asia-Pacific region. In a joint effort with Canada's Stuart Energy Systems, CKI wants to replace dirty diesel generators with cleaner hydrogen systems. Quiz for readers: what, if anything, is wrong with the following statement: 'When you burn hydrogen, you produce oxygen and water . . . That's the beauty of it. Emissions are basically zero.' It's from a local newspaper article. Quiz answer: According to our reader, David Webb, who knows his elements as well as his share price charts, this is nothing less than alchemy. Creating one basic element from another simply can't be done. What you actually produce when you burn hydrogen is steam. Dirty old coal would be needed to extract the hydrogen from water. 'So you burn coal to get hydrogen - not exactly emission-free, is it?' Mr Webb says. Seeking to confirm these serious allegations of alchemy, we put in a call to Mr Cook but he was busy. Was he converting carbon into gold? Trust an issue: We received an attractive offer from lawyer Zakari Yua of Aquarius Law Office in Lagos. He was offering us the exciting opportunity to earn a share of US$25 million for investment in the film industry. 'I am soliciting your participation in the Transfer/Investment of some money presently lodged in a domisciliary [sic] account in the favour of a client of my firm.' Now, Lai See readers will be aware that we like to read scam letters very carefully, and over and over, searching for tips on how to hypnotise people with language. We like this part: 'You may need not doubt the credibility of this proposition and if you have your doubt which is anticipated please ensure to verify all my claims before you engage in any further interaction with my firm.' Maybe this is a genuine opportunity from a trustworthy lawyer. Anything is possible in the land of my word is my bond and please trust and believe that this is real and never a joke. Rough riders: After the Enron scandal broke, banks and other major global corporations raced to make sure their assets and liabilities were all properly accounted for. In London, we hear Standard Chartered Bank carried out a global audit of its vehicle fleet, to see if any were not properly accounted for. Reports of phantom vehicles came back blank except for three 'Special Purpose Vehicles' in the Zambian office. Internal auditors bristled: could the bank be hiding tanks or armoured personnel carriers somewhere in its balance sheet? A more peaceful explanation: they were four-wheel drive vehicles for moving bankers around Zambia's challenging terrain. Bad sign: Reader Malcolm Brocklebank, who works in marketing, noticed a fascinating sign on a ferry from Zhuhai to Hong Kong: 'Not Missionary, Not Come Into.' Yes, Malcolm, we think it is a real warning to those pesky Christian missionaries who will not rest until they have spread their word to all people everywhere. Mmmm, that reminds us of some other industries like for example the news business. Or marketing. Mr Brocklebank is in no doubt: 'Isn't it all just about marketing anyway?' Out to lunch: This has to be a record: our colleague, working on a weighty financial story, began calling fund managers for comment at 10am yesterday. He left message after message after . . . well, he called 30 of these financial powerhouses and could find not one individual sitting by their phone. By 3.30pm, the first hit: someone called back, but our colleague asked Lai See, 'What is happening to Hong Kong, financial centre of Asia, is everyone out to lunch from breakfast time?' Graphic: whee23gbz
