Charmbracelet
(MonarC Music/Island Records)
Reviewing Mariah Carey is like taking candy from a baby. Actually, it is taking candy from a baby, and that can be hurtful. But, being paranoid doesn't always mean you have nothing to fear, so sniping at the multi-zillion-selling, world-adored singer isn't always frivolous. So here goes.
'Mariah Carey's career is truly the stuff of legend,' buzzes the breathless press blurb for Charmbracelet. 'The album, which is lyrically very personal, showcases Mariah's stunning voice, prolific songwriting and incredible versatility.'
Let's get one thing straight. If you like Mariah, you'll love it. If not, forget it. There is no middle path.
Presumably to resemble the 'charmbracelet' of the title, the 15 songs are mildly linked in a rambling fashion: hurt girl meets good boy, is let down, breaks up, pines away, remembers God, recalls good times, learns to rely on herself. Pitch in the trademark breathy, syrupy vocals. Then there is a host of strangely adolescent soft-focus snaps of our heroine studded across the CD insert (alongside the lyrics, for some unaccountable reason).