ParknShop and Watson's Wine Cellars around Hong Kong have suddenly been festooned with Cliff Richard posters. The stores are offering customers discount tickets to the ageing crooner's March 5 Coliseum concert, plus the chance to meet the 'Peter Pan of pop' after the show. SAR rang the ParknShop complaints hotline. 'We believe you are promoting a product that is old and way past its sell-by date,' we said. 'Oh dear, this is serious. What product?' said the woman pleasantly. 'A Cliff Richard, we think he's a bit mouldy.' 'Is it a fruit?' 'Good question.' But when we tried the same at Watson's, the complaints woman - clearly a Cliff fan - put us straight: 'Cliff Richard?' she cooed. 'He's vintage.'