IT'S HARD TO tell Roger Boschman's secret from his appearance. Look at the photograph above and see if you can guess. The craggy features, baggy eyes and unnaturally dark hair give little away. If I told you that the Canadian was a regular churchgoer that would only be half a clue.
Give up? Then I'll tell you. Boschman is - by his own proclamation - God's Gift To Women. The spry 60-year-old claims to be the perfect lover with 'The Perfect Method', based on a forgotten Oriental technique more than 2,000 years old that enables men and women to copulate fully without either contraceptives or the risk of pregnancy, while guaranteeing satisfaction to both parties. So convinced is he that he has trademarked his love-making style and written an online book about it called Six Steps To Perfect Loving.
'Every day I thank God for this amazing gift that seems to have been handed to me out of the blue. With an attitude of gratitude, I feel the need to share the joy and happiness with others,' he boasts on his Web site. Later on, written in the third person, the site reads: 'In at least one way, Boschman is a man in a million - or several million. Because, largely by good luck, he made a surprising discovery more than 20 years ago. Thanks to that bit of good fortune, he and his wife enjoyed this truly amazing sexual technique for more than 10 years, before it occurred to him that it could be shared with other couples.'
Yes, for just US$19 (HK$148) you too could have the secret to perfect loving! Boschman, however, insists he's not just in it for the money. The sex-miracle industry is, after all, a good way to get more bang for your buck. But Boschman professes an altruistic desire to teach the world to love in perfect harmony while bringing an end to unwanted pregnancies, the spread of Aids and dissatisfied women everywhere.
'I have dedicated my life to helping people achieve sexual bliss,' he says earnestly. 'I need to make money to take it to the next stage.' The next stage is getting governments in the developing world to teach Boschman's safe-sex techniques to their entire populations, village by village.
It's a mighty ambition for a man whose career as a sex educator has seen him teach just four couples in three years. And is one man's bedroom routine with his wife really of value to the world? 'Yes,' exclaims the trained sex educationalist. 'I have studied all the books, but have never been able to find anything like this. It is not known in the West. It used to be used by the Chinese, but disappeared long ago.'
So how did Boschman end up on this quest? 'I've always had an interest in orgasmic control,' he says matter-of-factly, explaining that he was inspired by a novel he read in the 1970s. Set in Japan, it features a man and his concubine who play a love game in which each tries to finish the sex act last. 'I was impressed, but it was fiction,' says Boschman. 'Men are usually so quick, they are in and out and asleep when the woman is just getting started and left to look at the ceiling.'
During a conversation in 1981 with a Chinese-Canadian couple in Sai Kung, Boschman was told there was an ancient Oriental art of orgasmic control which had been lost over time. According to this Chinese legend, men who spilled their seed lost their power, but those who could retain it lived for longer, perhaps forever.
'Of course we know that's not true,' says Boschman. 'But I realised the idea of control was no longer fiction.' He decided to single-handedly revive the art and, after a year of practising at home, claims he cracked the secret to orgasm without ejaculation. He claims he and his Filipino wife ('the most beautiful woman in the world') have since enjoyed unbeatable sex and were able to choose when they had their three children.
In the 1990s, Boschman took a correspondence course in sex education at San Francisco's Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, and finally set himself up as a sex therapist. He then became a member of the Family Planning Association, an executive committee member of the Hong Kong Sex Education Committee. He offers counselling and lectures on subjects as diverse as sex for disabled people and also the elderly - under the title 'Sex And The Silver'. He has also lectured on 'outercourse', a self-explanatory alternative to his Perfect Method.
Boschman, a freelance journalist who contributes to the Post's Motoring pages and also a scout leader, marketed the Perfect Method on a Web site three years ago, charging couples US$6,000 (HK$46,800) to learn. Two couples flew in from the United States for an instruction course. 'They were coming here anyway,' admits Boschman. Although he says the couples, plus two fundamentalist Christian couples in Hong Kong who took the course, left satisfied, he realised he was charging too much.
While Boschman's self-promotional blurb may lead readers to think he is at best, bonkers, or at worst, creepy - his Web-site pitch to customers is: 'So gentlemen, give your lady a special gift - give her yourself, the perfect lover' - in person he comes across as more genuine and sincere.
But what is the Perfect Method? Well, suffice to say it boils down to delay and control, which once mastered, provides the key to sexual bliss. The book is a plain-speaking, practical instruction manual, which goes into unnecessary detail such as nuzzling the ear lobe during foreplay. The concept and secret could be contained in a much shorter guide, but it's written in the modern guru's self-help style which abounds these days.
'It takes six steps and about 10 weeks to master,' says Boschman of his Perfect Method. There's a secret at the end which he sees as the clincher to his style. If you want to find out whether it lives up to Boschman's star billing you will have to buy the book. As Boschman says: 'That's a bargain price to be a perfect lover.'