What price corporate governance? Anything between $6 million and $10 million, on a good day. This is what it takes to bring corporate wrong-doers to court, according to the Financial Services and Treasury Bureau and the Securities and Futures Commission. The two bodies recently put out a consultation paper on a derivative action - notably seeking views on such recourse being taken on investors' behalf by the SFC. In other words, the prospect of enabling minority shareholders to have their day in court. A derivative action awards any damages to the company, not the shareholders. Needless to say there were two pages dedicated to the topic of funding the proposal. If the SFC goes ahead with derivative actions, it needs to raise more cash. One idea being touted is to allow the SFC a cut of any damages - up to 30 per cent. And here is where it gets into the nitty gritty of how much lawyers cost these days. Seldom do government bodies publish such figures. A 'moderately complex' case costs in the region of $150,000 per court day. An actual trial would be around $750,000 per week. Add in preparation work and a four-week trial could cost at least $6 million. Expert evidence and extra applications? Make that $10 million in total. If the case were particularly complex or protracted, legal fees exceeding $30 million are not unusual. 'In one recent lengthy civil trial,' the paper notes, 'senior counsel was reported to be earning at least $90,000 per day.' Which brings Lai See to the question of the day: Q: What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? A: Vultures don't get frequent-flyer miles. paper chase It is refreshing to see some hardcore competitive spirit in the City of Opolies. Even more so when it takes on a 'nah-nah' element seldom seen since primary school. Arch rivals Next Media and Oriental Press seemed quite happy to have their final results come out on separate days. Next originally scheduled its for June 6. Then it suddenly changed the date - to June 9, the same day that Oriental had decided to release its final results. Oriental then abruptly changed the date in question to June 12. What a series of uncanny coincidences. smile guru Style guru and alleged insider dealer Martha Stewart continues to make headlines in the United States. Lai See managed to find a few of the more salacious commentaries: 'Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.' Craig Kilborn 'Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm that was about to go under. 'Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.' Dennis Miller 'In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up ... and three of them were made out of crepe paper.' Conan O'Brien 'Martha Stewart had an interesting show this morning - she showed viewers how to make bail. Did you see that?' Jay Leno cockpit wit Frequent flyers out there may be freaked to see the latest e-mail doing the rounds. It gives examples of some of the more lighthearted announcements made on airlines. Lai See takes some of them with a pinch of salt, but of course you never know ... On a US flight with a very 'senior' flight crew, the pilot said 'Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.' 'Thank you for flying [airline]. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.' Heard on an internal US flight: 'Welcome aboard [flight name]. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.' 'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.' 'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.' Got a question for Lai See? laisee@scmp.com Tel: 2565 2632 Fax: 2565 1624
