Anyone perusing a recent edition of Penthouse magazine for some really interesting and informative stories may have been a bit surprised to see a full spread on SmarTone Telecommunications boss Douglas Li. Fortunately, he did keep all of his clothes on. The mobile-phone company has made Penthouse its porn provider of choice, the latest telco to add such value to our telecommunications options. Pictures of pretty ladies can be downloaded on to your phone and sent on to someone else. Grandparents, even. Lai See has learned that a signing ceremony with the adult content provider will take place next week. But the details are still being fleshed out. A few ideas were leaked. One is to have a butt competition. Users will be asked to send an SMS to vote for the best backside among the Penthouse girls. A variant on the nobbly-knees concept. Another option is to sign the agreement on the dotted butt. The signature would literally be written onto a woman's posterior. There may of course be legal problems that arise from this. Is the human anatomy recognised as a form of scrip? The alternative is to chop it on to the rear end of the Penthouse bunny and then transfer the chop from the woman's derriere onto the contract. Hmmm. Choices, choices. Which option to go for? Fear not. Lai See promises to get to the bottom of it. Sars-struck Just when it thought Sars was under control, Toronto had another outbreak. Still, it has managed to avoid a new World Health Organisation travel advisory. But there are some things you just can't avoid. The philosophy of 'don't speak too soon' for one. Lai See refers to the recent talk of the Canadian Chamber of Commerce in Hong Kong. 'Toronto vs Sars', was the title. 'Leader of the fight against Sars shares his experience.' This was Dr James Young, Ontario's commissioner for public safety. Guests could enjoy a 'great opportunity' to hear a first-hand account of the actions taken in fighting the Sars outbreak in Toronto, and in rebuilding confidence in the city. For all of a week or so, it turned out, unfortunately. Missing by a mile Think of all those long-haul flights you've done over the years. Cramped into a stuffy cabin, leg-room from hell, a meagre wine selection to help you pass the hours. And at the other end, maybe jet lag. Or a boring meeting. But at least you have accumulated air miles. A delight if there are enough for a weekend to Phuket. Perhaps a week skiing in Europe, even. At the very least, you could redeem them for a spa treatment. Somehow Lai See doubts too many people will be parting with their hard-earned Asia Miles for the latest offering from Cathay Pacific's Marco Polo Club: Cathay's director of corporate development Tony Tyler and the Financial Times' new Asian editor John Ridding talking about the impact of Sars on the regional economy. For the bargain price of 3,800 Asia Miles per person, you can join the 'Getting Back to Business' special lunch on July 3. Hmmm. Lunch vs Bali - definitely a line call. paper tiger Now is perhaps not the best time to be a private mainland firm on the brink of listing in Hong Kong given the accounting irregularities and corporate governance problems of some predecessors. But construction firm Baoye Group - expected to list on the main board later this month - does not seem perturbed. Chairman Pang Baogen instead shared his sage philosophy: 'Real things are hard to fake and false things are hard to pretend as real.' He then dug out a photocopy of a certificate which deemed the company 'an honest and law-abiding township enterprise'. Impressive. But quite how the Ministry of Agriculture - the granter of the certificate - measures a construction company's corporate governance is a teeny bit unclear. Got a question for Lai See? laisee@scmp.com Tel: 2565 2632 Fax: 2565 1624
